Super Mega Tomato

Critically Relevant: Wii Fit

2008-06-18T17:44:00.001-03:00

Critically Relevant: MarioKart Wii

2008-05-10T23:30:00.000-03:00

Critically Relevant: Super Smash Bros Brawl

2008-05-09T23:45:00.000-03:00

Bux.to: Legit or Scam? I'm about to find out.

2008-05-07T15:04:00.004-03:00

So I came across this website, bux.to while playing some SafeCracker on Facebook.

It goes without saying that I was bored.

I've never participated(to my knowledge) to any sort of pyramid scheme, or the like, although I have found myself wrapped up in programs requiring referrals to get ahead...what? That's what a pyramid scheme is?

Oh.

Well, REGARDLESS. I've signed up to bux.to. To fill you in, bux.to claims to pay you 1 cent for every ad you visit on the website, and every 24 hours you are allowed to visit the same ads, or new ones, and earn 1 cent for every one visited again. The website states "Bux.to is NOT a Autosurf, Multi-Level Marketing, Pyramid, Ponzi, Matrix or 'Get Rich Quick' scheme."

Usually when I am presented with such a deal, I research to an insane level whether or not the website is a scam or if people have genuinely received money from the system. 99.9% of the time I am informed within 5 minutes that the website is a scam, and if you so much as touch it with a 10-foot pole, you will get screwed.

It appears as though bux.to initially had issues paying people in a speedy manner, and people cried immediately about it being a scam, and frankly, I do not blame them.

However, based on the number of websites and youtube videos of people proving their received payment, it seems as though bux.to has, for the most part, smoothed out their problems, and are beginning to prove themselves as a legit way to make a few dollars.

Knowing all of the bad press they have received as well as reading and listening to people's success stories, I decided to dive in and see what happens.

If you want to dive in with me and see where this rabbit hole goes, just sign up here:

http://bux.to/?r=pzuto

To receive payment, you can sign up for an AlertPay account (I also did my research here, and in my opinion they are legit) or move into a premium account and they will send you a prepaid mastercard that you can use to load your earnings onto.

I'll update you as time goes on to let you know if I think bux.to is a scam, or amazing, or just plain lame.

POP MUSIC - Who the hell agreed to this? ANYONE?

2006-12-28T15:52:00.000-04:00

Forgive me if this is old news, but this Michael Jackson Thriller video interpretation is brilliant.

And ridiculous.

And also not brilliant.

I love the Bollywood remix of the song.

Wow.

PERS - The invasion of me.jpg

2006-12-21T10:41:00.004-04:00

1. School
2. Laziness
3. Busy busy busy

I thought I'd get some "excuses for not updating" points right out of the way.

I got a Macbook, and Photo Booth is my new addiction, and it's inspired me to take a pile of pictures of myself and then subject you to them. HOW FUN!

I will rule the world! ...the city? ...the neighbourhood? my house? ...Victoria's Secret catalog? ...Sears catalog. :)

My old college friend Mandy claims I look like a camel here. I say goat. She's probably more right.

The incorrect way to Vogue.

The correct way to grow new arms.

Going bowling, conjoined-twin style!

Did you say something?

Oh my aching Brian Mulroney/Jay Leno head.

Models always look better after the Photoshop treatment.

FIGARO FIGARO FIGARO FIGARO figaro

Your aunt Prudence

This post has been brought to you by TERRY'S CHOCOLATE MINT ORANGE, which had me on a sugar high the entire time I put this together.

PERS - Finally I have something to write about...boy do I ever!

2006-11-02T15:38:00.000-04:00

Not that my life has been totally uneventful in these past 2 months...I cannot believe my last post was in August!

Before I tell you about my day today, let me get you up to speed:

-I've been in school for 2 months now. The program I'm in seems like it will be very fulfilling. The projects are challenging and thought-provoking, and I believe that I'm learning skills that will help me outside the school.

-I've also been living in Toronto for 2 months now. There are a LOT of things that have changed since I lived here in 2003. The cyber-cafe I used to frequent when I was without a computer has disappeared from Yonge St, and a pizza place that was at a corner nearby the cafe is now a Sobey's "Express" (meaning "I look more like a small grocery shop than a Wal*Mart.") When I lived at a Bed & Breakfast for a month (read: rock-bottom...no wait, when I was living in a furniture-less, tv-less, life-less condo for a month was probably rock-bottom), I used to go to a laundromat on Dupont St...in its place is a Shopper's Drug Mart. I could go on and on, but frankly, I want to get on with today's story.

So I've been suffering from a sore throat since Sunday. I had last week off of school as it was a scheduled break within my program, and right before I had to go back, I get hit with the sore throat.

Monday, it got worse.
Tuesday, worse again.
Wednesday, not getting any better.

At that point, the ibuprofen I was taking for the pain was not helping, so I picked up some Benylin1 All-In-One Extra Strength night and day pills. Those babies numbed the pain quite well, but I still had difficulty swallowing.

This morning my condition was the same. Thursdays are when I have only one 3-hour class, which is why I've named this day of the week "GLORIOUS THURSDAYS!" Even with this in mind, I did not feel like leaving the house whatsoever.

But, being the keener I am, I took a shower, and soldiered my way out the door. My walk to the subway station was mostly a blur as I felt dizzy and disoriented the entire time (Thanks, Benylin!). I stopped at an intersection waiting to cross the street when someone approached me and asked where they can find a grocery store. I kinda jumped back in surprise to see that it was a classmate of mine who I've recently been grouped with for an on-going school project. I told him where to go (or at least I believe I did, you never know what you'll say when you let Benylin speak for you), and I continued on the path to the subway station.

While travelling toward King Station, I really started thinking about my throat. I was getting worried about my breathing. I plugged my nose and tried breathing through my mouth. It didn't feel very good, nor did it feel like much air was getting through. Then I got super-worried. I had no interest in keeping up appearances with complete strangers on the train, so I kept my head down and stuffed my mouth and neck into my scarf and shut my eyes until I reached my destination.

It is then that I decide that immediately after my Design class I would go to the First Aid Centre in George Brown. I performed my usual routine of going to my locker, opening it and staring in awe and disbelief at the chaos inside for about five minutes, then grabbing my portfolio case and slamming the door shut.

I continued to keep my head down as I walked through the hallways, and when I reached my classroom, a classmate of mine was coming out of the room. I was about to enter when she said, "You do know that there's no class today."

...

..

.

I'm like, "....what."

"Yeah, class is cancelled."

..........

......
............."what."

I look at the post board next to the class's door. "DESIGN I CANCELLED. PASS ASSIGNMENTS IN NEXT WEEK."

......"what."

By this time I was talking to myself as my classmate left 3 minutes ago. So, in utter disbelief, I just retraced my steps back through the hallway. I ran into another classmate who was rushing towards class.

"No class, it's cancelled," I mumbled, not really wanting to speak anymore on account of my throat. He proceeded to fly into a tirade about how he spent all last night trying to finish the project that was due today. I couldn't relate; I finished the project 2 weeks ago. I'm a keener, remember?

He walked with me to my locker when I ran into someone else rushing to class, to which I responded "No class." He had the same story; up ALLLL night doing that project. Since they were both standing there, I figured this was my chance to farm some information out of them.

"Hey, any of you ever been to the First Aid Centre?"
"No."
"Not really." (?)

After a few more words, I walked downstairs and circled around the First Aid Centre a few times until I worked up the courage to knock on the locked door.

A portly man opened it and asked how he could help me.

"I was hoping you could lead me in the right direction. I've had a sore throat for 5 days and it's not going away."

"Well I'd say a doctor's office is a good direction!"

"Hahaha, fuck you're funny YOU FUCKING TOOTHLESS ASSHOLE!"

Ok, so I didn't actually lash out at him, I just asked "Could you tell me where the nearest clinic is?"

Before I knew it there was a photocopied sketched-out map of the clinics in the area. He informed me that most go to First Canadian Place, so I decided to be a sheep and follow the herd.

One thing you may not know is that First Canadian Place is a pretty damn intimidating building.

It's the tallest skyscraper in Toronto, and I'm surprised people can find there way in and out of that building on a daily basis.

When I found my way inside the building, I had to ask one of the hundred security guards if a medical clinic actually exists within the building. In retrospect, I realize it was a stupid question because EVERYTHING HUMANKIND EVER CREATED WAS IN THIS BUILDING. It's huge I tell you, HUGE. (And if you're a paranoid person who thinks that everyone is watching you, don't go in this building. There were so many security personnel there that I felt like there were eyes on me the entire time. It doesn't help the situation that you're in the largest building in the largest city of Canada. And it certainly doesn't help when you're loopy on Benylin.)

She politely told me where to go, and after a taking a few wrong paths, I finally made it to the clinic. I pulled a numbered tab out of a "take a number" machine and sat down.

About 30 seconds later a lady approached me and said, "Are you looking to have bloodwork done?"

"Uh...no, I just want to see a doctor."

"You have to go see reception for that, or you'll be sitting here all day."

"Thanks for the tip!" ...bitch.

Fortunately, once I filled out a form, I was quickly directed to an examination room. I jumped up and sat on one of those long bench-like, bed-like baby-blue leather seats that have a long stripe of the NOISIEST PAPER EVER MADE laid over top.

The doctor came in and introduced herself. I told her my situation, and she took out a light and a tongue depresser and asked me to open my mouth. She tried the depresser for a second, but I think she realized I have a huge mouth, and she stopped using it (ha!). She diagnosed me on the spot as having strep throat and wrote out a prescription for me. She read on my form that I was from New Brunswick, and she proceeded to tell me that she was from Nova Scotia and studied at Dalhousie. She also said she knew some people who were from Miramichi who studied with her.

Small. Damn. World.

She asked me if I had a drug plan. I told her I was unsure. She left the room and came back with the drugs, eliminating my need to make a trip to a pharmacy. Awesome.

After crawling through the maze that is First Canadian Place, I managed to make my way to King Subway station. I had my headphones on, but I could see that there was an older lady screaming at a TTC employee who was in a (most-likely) bulletproof-glass booth. I took my headphones off to see what the problem was when I heard over the intercom that the entire Spadina University line was shut down due to a "Power outage". A few minutes later, they said that it was a "Priority 1 Emergency at St Andrews station with a personal injury at track level" (aka another suicide).

Great.

So I figured I would take the Westbound King streetcar and travel to the Northbound Spadina Streetcar which would take me to the Westbound Bloor subway, and then to home.

Instead, the streetcar operator told us to get off at Bay if we plan to go north and take the Bay bus.

When the Bay bus arrived, it was already a can of sardines, and 20 of us wanted on. The bus driver wouldn't open the doors, and just drove off.

Plan failed. I'm standing there, sick as a dog, with no options.

So I started walking up Bay - cursing to the wind like a crazy person - until I reached Eaton Centre. I was going to continue to head north, but I decided to check out the subway situation again. By this time, I was able to successfully use the subway and now I'm home.

I just took my first dosage of antibiotics, and I'm probably going to go lie down now.

PERS - The Update of Your Life. Now. Live it. The Update of your Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife.

2006-08-21T21:03:00.000-03:00

I thought that my dear loyal readers must be growing tired of my lack of updates, so I figured I must let you both in on what's going on with me as of late.

I no longer work at the call center where I was employed for close to two and a half years. It is such a relief to know that I will not be renting a full-size gas-guzzling SUV to someone who cannot afford it.

At first the job was tolerable. The calls were simple, the training - while moderately intense - was easy to follow, the rules were reasonable, and the work environment was relaxed.

Then half way through my inevitably terminal employment, things had changed, and I wish I could say that the changes were for the better.

Instead, the rules changed, the policies modified, and the workload was increased. The company strayed from their "employee friendly" mantra into a "customer first (employee last, if at all)" mentality. Most of the supervisors avoided conducting meetings and team briefings with the employees. We were no longer allowed to surf the Internet between phone calls. We were now taking additional calls that at one time only a local counter would handle. And yet our paycheques still stated the same hourly pay rate. (They've even recently raised the starting wage for new employees while keeping all current employees wages the same! Imagine that!)

Now, I know that some call centers don't allow you to surf the Internet anyway. I know this first hand as I have worked in several call centers with this policy intact. However, this was a brand new call center. They had new ideas for how to treat their employees (aka with a shred of respect).

When I went through the training program, they "proved" how they are different in a positive sense. It didn't take long before all the the fresh-faced supervisors got settled into their power-hungry mindsets, and their holier-than-thou attitudes.

It's not like I was a slacking, lazy call center representative. I shot to the top of the call center ranks, having maintained statistics that kept me in the top 10 of 500 people for almost 2 years. Not to sound braggish (...and oh, it will...), but Supervisors begged to have me on their team so they could have my stats on their charts and look good to the higher ups.

I was even promoted to a Scheduling Management position. I wanted to escape from the phones, and have a somewhat-normal desk job, and I thought that having that promotion was going to provide that.

So what went wrong? Well, as I said above: Rules changed.

The higher-ups were wrapping their bony fingers around the necks of those in control of taking me off the phones. It made it nearly impossible to work in the scheduling department; so much so that when I did get a chance to work there, I was so rusty on how to operate the databases and spreadsheets that I suffered a huge migraine headache every time.

This caused me to be fairly resentful of the managers at that point. I demoted myself to escape the migraines. I got less migraines being on the phone, if you can believe it.

I burned out August of last year and had to go on stress leave. Many were surprised that after working in so many call centers for so many years that I didn't go on stress leave earlier. It surprised me too.

I should have left after my stress leave was up, but the thought of searching for another job in Fredericton made me sick, considering the job market in the maritimes is either work in a call center or work for minimum wage. Thanks Frank McKenna. Your push to advance telecommunication technologies in the Maritimes has ushered in a new era of shitty-ass Call Centers. You sacrificed the mental health of thousands of Maritime citizens so we could have call display on our phones before anyone else. The psychiatrists of the region as well as pharmaceutical companies salute you!

Anyway, the truth is that I had to come up with a better plan for my career and my life. During my stress leave period, I started working hardcore on an art portfolio. It was time to go back to school, and I was going to be ready.

When I came back to work, nothing had changed, and for the remaining months of work, I was slowly losing my mind. I wasn't sure if school was going to be a sure thing at the time, and the people on the phones were becoming less tolerable to listen to.

I've now been accepted into George Brown College's Graphic Design program, and I couldn't be happier.

The thought of going back to school scared the hell out of me 2 years ago.

Now it seems so right.

I will be visiting family in Miramichi in the next few days, and it's off to Toronto at the end of the month.

I cannot wait.

Ciao.

POP MISC - The NAME WARS!

2006-08-05T10:54:00.000-03:00

I was alerted today by the WOW Report of a "Social Security Index" on the PBS website. It basically allows you to search the 55000 most common last names and tells you where they rank in popularity.

This had me thinking; How can I have fun with this new found tool?

Then it came to me...I'll have A CELEBRITY NAME WWWAAAARRRR!

...Ahem...so here it is.

HILTON vs. RICHIE

Hilton (#1066) beats Richie (#4616) by a landslide, although if Nicole had the more common spelling of Ritchie (#1121) she would stand a fighting chance against the Hiltons. Not even a wild, uneven-eyed Doherty (#1194) can win against a Hilton.

AGUILERA vs. SPEARS

Spears (#692) kicks rival Aguilera's (#2525) ass in this battle, proving that having the better voice is no match for being unapologetically fug.

TIMBERLAKE vs. FEDERLINE

Is it any surprise to you that Timberlake (#6030) won over Federline (#44551) by a huge margin? Timberlake swiftly brings sexyback, while Federline takes the sexyaway.

LOHAN vs. DUFF

The Duffs (#1955) don't need to win by the skin of their cosmetically-altered horse teeth, as they easily pummel the fully-loaded Lohans, who don't even make the top 55000! Ouch!

....

I quickly became bored of searching for surnames of famously feuding celebrities, but I still wanted to tap this great resource for more information.

So I decided to have RANDOM NAME WAAAARRRRS!!

We like our Fries (#4559) but we'd rather have the Burger (#1526), but if we had to choose between condiments, we'd take Mayo (#926) over Mustard (#19269).

We'd much rather have Hair (#4575) than be Bald (#35752).

We'll take a Judge (#2755) over a Jury (#15335).

In a rainbow, Green (#35) is the clear colour of choice, followed by Blue (#1289), Orange (#6306), Red (#17505), Violet (#27392), while Indigo and Yellow fail to rank.

On the topic of colours, it's about to get pretty blue in here. If you're green, don't say I didn't warn you when you're face turns red.

We love our Hoars (#12293) almost as much as we love our Virgins (#11526), but we're not a fan of Prudes (#18360).

Dicks (#5956) are no match for Cox (#68), but we would take a Dick (#1105) over a Glasscock (#7008) anyday.

The real winner, however, is Bush (#311), so it's no surprise that we'll choose a Ho (#1308) over a Mo (#17451).

PERS -- Blocking on the Block.

2006-06-24T16:00:00.000-03:00

June 24th, 3:31 pm -- After picking up a few essential items at Sobey's, I began to take the worn path back to my apartment. I had to take an alternative route, however, when I noticed there was a an old guy in a senior scooter parked in the middle of the path. If you live in Fredericton, you've no doubt seen this guy speeding through the streets and sidewalks of the city. I'm not sure why he chose to park there; it's not a great view, very few people and cars drive through that area. There's really just not much to look at.

Maybe he was napping. Or dead.

PERS -- What a piss off.

2006-06-23T17:05:00.000-03:00

June 23rd, 4:35 pm -- young 20-something clean-shaven redheaded male (not homeless, just drunk and/or high) found pissing on the ground in front of my apartment building. Once he realized I was there, he turned his back to me and started pissing on the brick wall.

What courteous neighbours I have.

POP MISC -- Smoothie sailing...Ok, now I am officially lame.

2006-06-08T22:24:00.000-03:00

(Forgive the miserable pixelation of the above graphic. I don't have photoshop right now as my laptop is getting serviced and I only have access to MS Paint.)

On average of 4 days a week Chris and I have been drinking a frozen fruit smoothie for close to two months now.

It took a few tries, but we managed to get the recipe down to a science. Try it out!

Here's what you're going to need to make a 16 oz glass of awesomeness:

Approx 200 ml (or less) Frozen Fruit
50 ml PM Pomegranate/Blueberry Juice
50 ml bolthouse green goodness fruit & veg smoothie
Approx 200 ml (or less) apple juice
1/2 cup of vanilla yogurt
1/2 banana
Big measuring cup w/ hand mixer OR regular blender

1. You could very easily just throw these things into a measuring cup in any order, but we start by putting in the (approx) 200 ml of frozen fruit. I say "approx" because you might have a pile of chunky pieces of fruit that leave a lot of space in between. if you are using little berries that can be compacted, I would say only use 150 ml of fruit. We use Europe's Best Summer Fruit Salad Mix as it has a good mix of tropical fruit and berries.

2. Pour in 50 ml of POM Wonderful brand Pomegranate/Blueberry juice. Pomegranate AND blueberry juice are LOADED with antioxidants that prevent aging, cancer, and other diseases believed to be caused by free radicals in the body.

3. Pour in 50 ml of Green Juice (I recommend Bolthouse Farms Green Goodness OR Arthur's Green Energy). Beverages including wheatgrass have a lot of folate and vitamin B6, other great fighters against cancer.

4. Throw in 1/2 cup of vanilla yogurt. We've tried strawberry yogurt, but the drink turned out more tart than what we were looking for.

5. Tear up 1/2 a banana and throw that in too.

6. Top it off with (approx) 200 ml of apple juice. If you've thrown all of the ingredients into one large measuring cup, we generally pour in the apple juice until it reaches 600 ml.

7. Blend until smoothalicious. It should be pretty thick as the frozen fruit make the entire thing nice and icy, without the need to add ice cubes.

8. Drink!

We usually split that 16 oz of smoothie into two small glasses for each of us, because in the morning, we have the smoothie with a bowl of Raisin Bran or Cheerios with All Bran Buds.

POP TECH - Random Shizz.

2006-06-03T13:11:00.000-03:00

I scour a lot of blogs and sites every now and again and find stuff of interest.

Here's a nice and fashionable set of things I've found in the last month or so.

Want to explore a day in the life of a famous italian plumber?

Ever want to dress yourself up really fugly and take a stroll out on the town?

Me neither. But there's a certain group of people who just love to do that.

Getting tired of playing the plain old Rock Paper Scissors? This should spice it up for you.

Have an idea for a great song, but you want to hear professional musicians perform it for you in an very incoherent shattered style? NOW YOU CAN! (You need to allow popups for this one or it won't come up. Oh, and if you know what song the word "going" comes from, I'd love to know, sounds retro-las-vegas-junkie, and I'm interested.)

Scare a few greedy businessmen by making the Dow go up and down.

Want a new Volkswagen? Just walk up to this vending machine and take your pick.

Finally, if you haven't seen it yet, here is the trailer for the next installment of the Super Smash Bros series. My favorite part is when Kirby realizes he looks exactly the same when they upgrade graphically.

This game will be on the new Nintendo Wii (pronounced "WE"), and if you haven't heard anything about this revolutionary new system, do your research. You'll be pleasantly surprised at the innovation involved.

(Sources: Kotaku, World of Wonder, YouTube)

PERS -- 8th Annual Friends for Life Bike Rally-O!

2006-05-26T23:55:00.000-03:00

I've got a friend by the name of Jay Walsh who's participating in the 8th annual Friends for Life Bike Rally which raises money for the Toronto People With AIDS Foundation. Over six days, he will travel 600 kms from Toronto to Montreal with a bunch of other cyclists for your much needed dollars!

If you've got a few quid to spare go HERE and to the right click the "rider/crew" link. Then type first name JAY and last name WALSH.

You'll know you have the right guy because, well, he's the only guy with that name and stuff. This'll be Jay's 3rd time doing the bike rally, which is absolute crazy talk, but even crazier is that it's not just talk, he really did it!

So, erm, donate.

You know your karma's been hurting since you ran over that old lady in the parking lot.

POP TV -- Growing Crazy.

2006-05-21T22:37:00.000-03:00

This is absotardly refunkulous:

"non-slip surface..."
"gracefully it sits over the human hand..."
"easy to digest..."
"curve towards the face..."
"notice it has a point at the top for ease of entry..."
"just the right shape for the human mouth..."
"the contents don't squirt in your face..."

What demographic is this guy trying to reach?!

Why is little Mikey Seaver even sitting next to this guy?

And doesn't this guy know that the banana he's holding is a domesticated banana, designed by farmers through selective cropping (like cows, horses, pigs, dogs), and is not the original "holy" banana? Fo real y'all.

It would be thick, hard to eat, and full of hard seeds.

Just like Alan Thicke.

POP MUSIC - Is it too late to start with your heart in a headlock?

2006-04-12T20:20:00.000-03:00

The video has the minimal style of Bjork's Vespertine era with the musical sensibilities of Bjork's 99.5% all-vocal album, Medulla.

With the electronic-heavy tracks Imogen Heap pumps out, combined with her yodel-like vocals, it came as no surprise that when I first heard of her (when she was one part of a 2 part band called Frou Frou), I just had to hear more.

"Hide and Seek" - the video you see above - may only technically be a performance video, but the spectacular lighting, wind-swept slow-mo hair, and great fashion sense really makes this visual piece pop.

If you haven't heard of her before, I strongly suggest you seek her out.

POP TECH - Introducing NORNNA.

2006-04-05T09:25:00.000-03:00

My friend Matt informed me of a new internet sensation (not really) NORNNA!

This is the first video she's ever posted. Anyone who saw this video when it was first uploaded truly had no idea what they were getting themselves into. And yes, her name is actually Nora, but if she's smart like me, she made up the name Nornna so it will show up easier in search engines.

The first video I watched was of her missing her bus to work:

Nornna has a therapist. I can't imagine why.

Before I just didn't like this song. Now I officially hate this song:

Why did she have to bring helpless innocent Eeyore into this?

On the positive side, she did not bring her cute cat into it:

Patty also shares my boredom.

Girl goes to church:

There's no better truthteller than a crying baby.

*SHOCK* Nornna has a brother, but the bigger shock is that he is cute! (With the exception of the ugly faces he makes into the camera, which then reminds you that him and Nornna are related.)

And yes, it is true Nornna: The more you eat, the more you indeed poop.

Her life can seemingly be summed up in this video:

"A Series of an of unfortunate eeevents."

Girl likes "Chocolot" Milk:

I like how she gives her nod of undeniable approval at the end.

And the consuming definitely doesn't stop there:

Here's her eating

Jell-O...

Chocolate Cherries (gross)...

and Corn Dogs.

"I'm so fucking thirsty too, holy shit!"

Sailor's mouth on her! Maybe if she stayed away from the hundreds of salty corn dogs and Fanta drinks she wouldn't be so "fucking thirsty".

And to completely swear you off of ever eating again, she performs her ritual.

Sorry for not warning you what was going to happen. I love her disclaimer to this one:

"If those LOVE the song "Wepon Of Choice" and get disgusted with girls like me powdering their feet ... don't watch this.

I don't want to see in comments 'Fuck you, Bitch for ruining this song for me!'"

To which Schandmaul87 comments "Fuck you, Bitch for ruining this song for me"

To cleanse your mind after all that Nornna jazz, I introduce to you non-Nornna related:

ALF IN THE DRYER!

(Thanks to Matt for the heads up on Nornna and Alf.)

POP TV - J'aime La Nasty Amidala.

2006-03-05T13:36:00.000-04:00

[Edit: Go here now to see the video. The clip was pulled from YouTube due to threats of copyright infringement. The shitheads at NBC don't understand that the sites that showcase their videos are giving them free advertising, and are also giving SNL a larger audience. As Natalie said best herself, 'Yo shut the f*ck up and suck my d*ck!]

Words cannot describe how funny this is.

This is from Natalie Portman's appearance on SNL last night.

Here are the lyrics as best as I can understand them:

I don't sleep muthaf**ka
on (?)that yak and a turbin(??)
doin' 120 gettin' head while I'm swervin,
(damn, natalie, you one crazy chick!)
Yo shut the f**k up and suck my d**k!

I'm (?)bustin 2 valves
like gushes muthaf**ka(?)
Roll up on NBC
and smack the shit out of Jeff Zucker!

(What you want Natalie?)
To drink and fight
(What you need Natalie?)
To f**k all night!

Don't tempt me when I'm crazy
(?)on that airplane crew(?)
Put my foot down your mouth
Til you shit in my shoe!

Leave ya screamin'
Pay for my dry cleanin'
F**k your man
It's my name that he's screamin'!

All the kids lookin' up to me
can suck my d**k!
(?)It's pointless(?) muthaf**cka
Drink til I'm sick!

Slit your throat
And pour matches down the hole
Watch (?)you laugh(?) and cry
While I laugh you die!

And all the dudes
you know I'm talkin' to you
(We love you Natalie!)
I wanna f**k you too!

(P!)
Is for Portman!
(P!)
Is for pussy!
I'll kill your f**kin' dog for fun
so don't push me!

(laughter)

When I was in Harvard
I smoked weed every day
I cheated every test
I snorted all the yay

I got a def posse
you got a buncha dudes
I'll sit right down on your face
and take a shit!

(Natalie, you are a bad ass bitch!)
HELL YEAH!
(And I always pay for your dry cleanin',
When my shit gets in your shoes!)

WHAT!

(As for the drug use,
well I can't vouch for that
My d**k is scared of you
Owww)

WHAT!

[END]

If you can fill me in on the things I couldn't get, or things I made a mistake on, please let me know!

POP TV - Another Four Bite the Dust.

2006-03-04T08:51:00.000-04:00

See ya never David Radford, Jose "Sway" Penala, Brenna Gethers & Heather Cox.

Because of America's vote this week, I am already way off in my predictions. Now I have no idea who's going to make it into the Top 12.

If only I could master the knowledge to determine what causes you to lose the competition:

Eating Salad or Pizza?

PERS - Memories...

2006-03-01T21:38:00.000-04:00

I was talking to an ex-co-worker from my tech support days back in Miramichi when he reminded me that I had a portfolio on the internet.

It's from back in 2001. It's made using Flash and it's way out of date.

In fact, the email address mentioned in it no longer exists.

I checked. That sucks.

Visit it here.

Enjoy.

POP TV - Coping with the Copacabana Catastrophe.

2006-02-23T22:17:00.000-04:00

Bid a fond farewell to the first 4 eliminated American Idol contestants Becky O'Donohue, Stevie Scott, Bobby Bennett and Patrick Hall.

Now that the first week of the top 24 is over, I will now make my predictions as to who will make it to the Top 12:

Boys:
Jose "Sway" Penala
Taylor "Strange (graying) Animal" Hicks
Chris "Eat Your Baby" Daughtry
Elliott "Yecch!" Yamin
Kevin "Josh Groban You Look Not" Corvais
Ace "I hate you cuz you're semi-beautiful" Young

Girls:
Paris "Can I Pinch Your Cheeks?" Bennett
Ayla "Basketball (to the face)" Brown
Lisa "Soul Glo Hair Revival" Tucker
Kelly "Pickler?" Pickler
Katharine "Quirky Mona" McPhee
Mandisa "Too Hot for a Last Name" Mandisa

I hope my predictions come true.

I only hope that David "Crooner to the Squirrels" Radford and Brenna "Oh for fuck's sake, shut the hell up!" Gethers don't get into the finals.

POP TECH - Walking in a Winter Wonderland.

2006-02-03T12:35:00.000-04:00

It's that time of the year folks.

That's right: It's only 325 days before Christmas! And what better way to celebrate this fine occasion than to visit a website dedicated to the holidays and cleaning out your wallet!

I landed on Santa-Claus.com, a website that does the seemingly impossible: Gets THE ONE AND ONLY Santa Claus to write your child letters from the NORTH POLE!!

Once you enter the website (and, annoyingly, every page change there-in), you are greeted by a chime sound, and two stockings landing in front of an already crowded fireplace.

There's no finer way to celebrate the holiday season than to place a number of highly flammable objects precariously close to an open flame.

And WHY is it snowing in the house?

The letters can be made highly personal:

He also knows what school you go to, what make and model car your parents drive, what medications you take, and your worst nightmares.

He's very thorough.

But the site doesn't just stop at forcing the already-overworked Santa to write letters, he will also PERSONALLY call your child and wish him a Merry (place Religious holiday here)! I can't think of a better thing to do for your child than to have a creepy anonymous old man call them up and scar them for life.

You could go cheap and have a pre-recorded message call you, but that's only if you don't love your child enough.

One of the more ridiculous offers is a Santa Letter with MAGIC SNOW!!!

Thank god the price includes shipping AND magic, otherwise this would be a complete waste of money.

And yes, I would LOVE to learn more. For instance, where do you get the balls to sell fake snow and fake Santa crap?

Maybe their guts and moxie is built up because of their location. I mean, with all the magic and splendor they promise, it must be a winter wonderland, with reindeer, snow hills, and mistletoe!

Thankfully, they provide their telephone number and address, so I can get to the bottom of this...

They are from the place that provides

pretty and prickly cacti...

24 hour gambling...

and cheap prostitutes. Oh, and Celine Dion.

I don't claim to be an expert in geography, but I'm pretty sure Nevada is nowhere near the North Pole.

They probably have a call center that's filled with Santa-sounding employees waiting to give you a call!

"I see you when you're sleeping; I know when you're awake, Clarice..."

Thanks to Robbie for notifying me of this holiday hocus-pocus.

POP MISC - Breakaway from the Oreos.

2006-01-31T20:58:00.000-04:00

I was waiting for American Idol to come on, and I turned on the TV prematurely to catch all the insane tabloid TV shows.

Your Access Hollywood. Your Extra. Your Entertainment Tonight. All rubbish.

When it was close to American Idol time, ET previewed what they were going to have on tomorrow's program.

In this preview was an exclusive interview with the one, the only, Tonya Harding.

Now, generally an interview with an Olympian who hit rock-bottom wouldn't grab my attention. That is until I saw what she looks like now.

Here's how you know her:

and here's how you don't know her:

Meet the new and improve...just new Tonya "Knee-bender" Harding.

This had me thinking. What sort of presence does she have online?

I learned quickly that she's now boxing as a sport. Then I checked her official website, tonyaharding.com, to find nothing but her figure skating "glory days" photographs when she was still looking petite. No Hundred-Dollar-Baby action here. Just pretty pictures of chic white trash livin'.

It was when I went to the "Movies" section that I felt compelled to tell the world about my adventure into psycho-dom.

I introduce to you a clip from her blockbuster movie, Breakaway.

Let me "break you in" and tell you how this movie probably arrived at this scene (I say "probably" because I was not privileged enough to see this entire work of art).

Gina (Tonya Harding) sets up a meeting with a dealer by phone to exchange money for drugs. She does not let the dealer know her identity over the phone, and tells him to meet her at an abandoned warehouse where it would be very discreet, and cheap to film a horrible movie. She tells the dealer she will be wearing an brown trenchcoat, lavendar smock, Freddy Krueger hat, and sensible nurse shoes.

Not suspecting a thing, the dealer agrees.

It's an hour later, and she arrives at the warehouse.

In a swift, "log rolling down a catwalk" fashion, the trench coat comes off.

"Hmm, she looks confrontational, but I won't shoot until I'm certain..."

"That hat is so...obstructive of my view."

"OMG! It's goddamn Tonya Harding! And her neck has grown to Hulk proportions!"

"...But she's still just too far away for me to get a good shot..."

And now for the BEST part of this sequence:

I heard they flew in the wire team from The Matrix to pull off that clumsy double-kick combo. I would have made a larger animated GIF, but my computer couldn't handle the AWESOMENESS.

WORST FIGHTING STANCE EVER.

I could have went my whole life without seeing that.

So the guy is kicked down the staircase in typical action movie fashion, but was it really necessary to have him fall down 2 flights?

"Oh, lookie that - another flight of stairs! Might as well finish what I started..."

"Wheee!"

Somehow I believe that these guys aren't going to get to use their weapons either. Blanks just aren't in the budget. Only Olympian failures and poorly-skilled stuntmen.

Watch the movie clip in full for yourself (it's the first link).

There's other clips there that will probably also make you laugh/smirk/cringe.

You can also visit the offical website of the movie, which is - and I didn't think this was possible - more out-of-date than Tonya herself.

Somewhere out there I can hear Nancy Kerrigan's knee popping with sheer delight.

POP MUSIC - Come On Electronic Performers.

2006-01-30T23:11:00.000-04:00

The following bands need to get out of their audio-challenged caves and put out a new album:

Air.
Daft Punk.
Portishead.
Aphex Twin. (This guy has little to no online presence right now. WTF!? to put it lightly.)

Of all 4, it's Portishead that really has to put their act together.

In case you haven't heard, Portishead are INDEED not broken up, never have broken up, and are working on a new album.

Give me a morsel, dammit! I need just a MORSEL!

That is all.

PERS - What the hell.

2006-01-29T15:16:00.000-04:00

A new look for the new year.

It's flashier.

It's brighter.

It's gawdy...er.

Enjoy!

POP MISC - Harper's Bizarre.

2006-01-24T10:23:00.000-04:00

Well, the Canada Election is over.

It was a tight race for a small portion of the night, but Stephen Harper - as predicted - became our 22nd prime minister.

The only positive is that it's only a minority government, and if they try anything radical, they will most likely have their asses handed to them.

I'll be waiting for it.

Oh, and is it just me, or does Peter MacKay look like Don Flamenco from Mike Tyson's Punch-Out?

That's totally insane. In the membrane. It's insane in the brain.

POP MISC - VOTE.

2006-01-22T22:05:00.000-04:00

Make sure you get out there and vote, y'all.

January 23rd is the date, you find the place, and participate in the race.

Paul Martin - www.liberal.ca
Jack Layton - www.ndp.ca
Gilles Duceppe - www.bloc.org

And that other party.

Y'know, the one that thinks Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs to church.

(Feel free to use my above graphic (as is) for your own personal use. Link back to me if ya nasty.)

POP MISC - The HOT political race.

2006-01-17T22:47:00.000-04:00

As Canadians, we must get out there and vote on the 23rd of January.

With this said, I thought I would really look deep down into the strategies of each political party and give my solid opinions. Whether you're thinking Liberal, Conservative, NDP or Bloc Quebecois, you need to know what matters to Canada.

...But before all that boring stuff, it's time to have my first ever

CANADA ELECTION 2006 WHO'S HOT? COMPETITION!!!

This is what the election boils down to: superficial opinions based only on physical appearance.

I will judge photos that follow these 2 simple rules:

1. The party leader cannot be wearing a suit. Suits give the illusion of better looks, a better form, and I am not looking for professionalism. Obviously.
2. Sports jackets and casual business shirts are also not allowed. Polos are acceptable as long as no sports jacket is worn.

LET THE COMPETITION BEGIN!

COMPETITOR #1: PAUL MARTIN

I will start with this photo because, oddly enough, for a guy who had the most images indexed by Google, this was the only acceptable photo for this competition. It's too bad for Martin that he just put his finger in a light socket seconds before this photo was taken. I have a few tips for future public appearances:

1. Use some sort of hair product for control under windy conditions.
2. If your face is going to look that blotchy in cold weather, maybe you should invest in a parka to cover your tomatoey face.
3. Is that a dish towel?
4. Dish towels do not make good scarves.

The competition has just begun, and so far, it isn't looking good.

COMPETITOR #2: JACK LAYTON

OK now. Here's a guy who's controlled his hair outdoors, and wears my favourite colour. Sure, it's the colour of his party, but I love orange. Major points for that.

I've never been a fan of the moustache, I think he could survive without one.

Hmm, something about this doesn't look right. Maybe he needs more than just a moustache...

Hot. Like "Kenny Rogers guest starring on Star Trek" hot.

Actually, now that I've completed my experiments, I'd say the balding w/ moustache look is probably his best bet.

But what would make him look better?

Ahh yes, of course. A picture with his (also political) wife, who looks very unimpressed. And not prepared for any sort of photography. Brilliant.

I think we may have a winner.

...what's that?

Oh yeah, there's two more competitors waiting for their turn.

COMPETITOR #3: STEPHEN HARPER

Yuck.

Manboobs.

Oh thank you Mr. Harper. Sure, I'll take some of that. After I puke forever. I don't even want to guess what that topping is. I know what you're thinking, and that is just sick. But not nearly as sick as what I'm thinking right now. Think of the most inappropriate, politically incorrect thing I could possibly say about this photo. Yup, that's what I'm thinking.

Props for trying to get the gay population to vote for you by bringing out your best Boy George look.

I'm still not voting for you.

And last but not least:

COMPETITOR #4: GILLES DUCEPPE

I know what you're saying: The guy's wearing a suit! That totally breaks my rules.

But this just isn't any photograph. This is a gem I landed on through my many Google searches.

Why is it such a gem?

Well, aside from the fact that he's wearing a nice stylish suit, this was close to the actual size of the photograph.

I'm not kidding. Take a look for yourself. If you have a dialup modem, I will pray for you.

Now anyone who has a photo this big on their official website has to be a guy who's very conscious of his physical appearane.

Then I typed in their official website address and checked out their stuff. That's when I came upon this:

Wow. This fine photo comes right from the front page. The guy is so sassy french cool, that he wears an ascot smack-dab on the front page of his party's website.

Why aren't all the other party leaders wearing the man-sexy ascot? This makes Gilles the style maven of Canadian politics. That's right, just with that one beautiful blue ascot.

After this amazing discovery, I came to the conclusion that the only way I'm going to make this competition fair is by having a

SEXY FRANCAIS COOL ASCOT-OFF!!

I guess the ascot doesn't work that well with everyone. This makes Martin look like a pompous asshole. Not sexy cool at all.

Jack Layton knows how to work the ascot. It compliments his bald head, and makes going bald more stylish, as opposed to gut-wrenchingly horrifying.

Yuck.

Now it is time to choose the winner.

Coming in fourth place with a face for radio, and a voice that sounds best on mute:

Mr. Women's Choices on Ice Cream, Stephen Harper! (That's right, I went there.)

3rd place, with his blotchy face and dish towel chic:

Pompous Paul Martin!

...We have a very close race between Jack Layton and Gilles Duceppe, but I can assure you folks, it is NOT a tie!

Taking the gold medal for best physical appearance for 2006 is

Drum Roll Please...

GILLES DUCEPPE!!

Seriously, he might not be as good looking in the face as Jack Layton, but he knows how to dress his Jiminy Cricket body.

And so ends the CANADA ELECTION 2006 WHO'S HOT? COMPETITION.

Who do you think should have won?

PERS - A Strongly Worded Letter...

2006-01-12T08:16:00.000-04:00

Dear City of Fredericton,

I am so infuriated right now that if I didn't have to travel to work, I'd be at your doorstep with steam spewing out of my crevasses.

I'm sad to report that I'm not gold-winning medalist Elvis Stojko. I'm not a fish or any sea-living creature either. If I were, I'd be able to navigate your treacherous sidewalks.

I'm not talking about the immediate downtown, although I've had days on Queen Street where I was convinced that crawling on all fours was my only option to get from point A to B. I'm talking about Needham Street. I'm talking about Carlton Street. I'm talking about the cemetery path cutting through Carlton.

Your plowing machines - when they finally come around - do an incredibly sad-ass job of clearing a path. The large amounts of snow left turns to slush, which turns to ice, which turns to a frictionless and dangerous surface.

I was sliding my way to work (walking was out of the question) when I fell on my back and right arm after exiting the cemetery at Brunswick Street. After successfully avoiding traffic at the intersection, I managed to get back up again. Thankfully, I'm 24(albeit with a back condition). If I were 74, I would have broken a rib, a hip and an arm, or all of the above, because of your negligence.

You might be asking, "Why not take a cab if the sidewalks are sooo bad?"

Well, thanks to Fredericton's abysmal job market, I can't afford such luxuries. I have to travel 5 days a week by bus to a call center on the north side. Those minimum wage janitor and dishwasher jobs on the Government job bank do sound like glamorous positions, though. I do give you props for keeping your citizens dead broke; broke both in empty pockets, and in bones.

Do us pedestrians a favour and keep our sidewalks clean. We pay our taxes, we buy your goods to hold up your economy. We use your transit, cutting down the amounts of pollution in the air. The least you could do is make sure that when we are trying hard to make it to work every day to pay for all these things that you hold up your part of the bargain and keep your paths clear.

Or you could offer free skates and skating lessons so I can triple-axel my ass to King's Place.

PERS - It's alright, 'cause there's beauty in the breakdown.

2005-12-28T10:28:00.000-04:00

For some reason I feel quite dizzy right now.

It's like feeling a little buzz after a couple rum and cokes - you're balance is a little disabled and your eyes wobble in your head a bit.

This could be the effect of a 24-hour headache, or possibly because I only ate carrots and drank a half-glass of green energy smoothie. Hell, it could even be these long-johns I'm wearing under these my jeans. They could be affecting my circulation. Who knows.

What I do know is that my Christmas passed without any major glitches. The 'rents got me a great printer (Thanks mom+dad!), which threw me into a 10-hour portfolio extravaganza. I had been waiting for weeks to print out my projects along with their descriptions, and I went a little overboard with developing the layout because the printer was doing a fantastic job of dishing out great-looking prints. Now my portfolio went from 5% to 90% completed and I couldn't be more excited.

The real question is: Will OCAD love it? I can't fathom who I'm up against, and my only window to see into the minds of my competition are current students' work on the website and also searching the blogs of people currently in the admission process, like moi. (Typing "getting into OCAD" in Google and "OCAD" in technorati brings up some interesting results.)

Ok, so you might be wondering what sort of stuff is in my portfolio, since I won't shut the hell up about it. Here's one of the pieces I will include, shown in ultra-low quality, paranoid-watermarking style.

I may lie down now, the dizziness continues...

POP TV - "It's not pink, it's coral."

2005-12-22T08:08:00.000-04:00

My loyalty to the still-birth show The Apprentice: Martha Stewart was betrayed by a horrible finale last night.

If anyone still watched this show by its abysmal end, you'd have to agree with me that there was no excitement, no intensity, and no punch. After watching the Donald achieve an impressive end to Season 4 of his show, you would think the producers of Apprentice: Martha would go back to the drawing board and conjure up a fantastic finale.

They could have moved the production from the set of Martha (barf) to Radio City Music Hall. Replaced the work table where the judges sat with a glass box full of snakes. Add male strippers in cages to the background. Release a lion into the crowd. Duct tape Alexis's mouth. Or better yet, release Alexis into the crowd. So. Many. Options.

Other "highlights":

- Like a boy with turret's syndrome, Martha's man-bitch Charles blurts out "Hubba Hubba!" at the Liz ClaiBURN (thanks Amanda!) fashion show. As if the phallic cigar wasn't enough to prove his male chauvinism.

- Alexis arrives at the fashion show in a sloppy black dress, sloppy hair and sloppy posture. She then gets out of her SUV and slams the door violently while displaying her signature bored glare. What a scrapper!

- Bethanny snubs all of her teammates and quickly jumps into her car. Much like Martha probably snubbed all involved in the making of this show.

- When the last minutes of the show came, Martha skipped the back-and-forth between the two candidates, and just said "Bethanny, we don't need you, Dawna, I'd like to offer you a job!" When the show was over and the lights were off, Martha added, "I was kidding, Dawna, you're all FIRED! GET OFF MY SET! DON'T HIT YOUR ASS ON THE WAY OUT! AAAAAHHH!! I FEEL SO DIRTY!! ALEXIS, START A BATH, CHARLES, GET THE JAVEX! MUST GET CLEEEAAANN!"

Now that they ran the show into the ground, I officially no longer feel bad that it wasn't renewed.

What a train wreck.

PERS - Merry Ice-mass, crazies!

2005-12-21T08:07:00.000-04:00

There's at least two issues I have with the City of Fredericton, and they both reared their ugly heads this morning.

The first being the state of the sidewalks on the streets I travel. If I weren't a spry 20-something with the strength to prevent a spill, I'd be long dead by now. Not even my winter boots will help me because the ice is terrible, and it's not going away any time soon with the cold weather we've been getting. It's only getting more slippery. The first sign of relief from having to watch every step was when I entered the cemetary downtown. The sidewalks were as dry and clear as can be. Thanks, dead people!

Did the city officials decide that the sidewalks can do without salt or sand this year? Did they think that the thin layer of snow they left behind would not turn into a safety hazard? Gah!

My second issue is with certain bus drivers employed by Fredericton's wonderfully dysfunctional transit system.

I walked onto the bus this morning, and when the driver punched my bus card, he said a loud and proud "Thanks!", which is certainly a welcome change of pace from the usual grunt - or dead silence - I get after I thank them for punching my card. Then I realized: this is the guy who talks to himself, and makes random comments loudly to whoever is on the bus.

About 10 minutes into the ride, I was happily listening to Madonna's "Get Together" when I leisurely glanced around the bus to find I was the only one left on it. Whenever this happens, I turn the volume down on my mp3 player in case the driver has something to say that I must know, such as "you have to switch buses", or "service ends at (inconvenient location)" or "I can't go under 50 or this tin box will EXPLODE!"

...You get the point.

To my dismay, the bus driver was talking to himself, blurting random things at a volume that couldn't possibly be heard from my position near the back of the bus. I tried to assume that he was talking over the radio system, but I heard no defining bleeps or bloops I usually hear when they are communicating with other bus drivers. Instead, he was mumbling angrily while frantically looking in the rear view mirror every 30 seconds.

A school bus stops in front of him? He starts mumbling angrily.
An SUV is parked on the side of the road? He starts mumbling angrily.
A child runs into the middle of the street? He runs them over and starts mumbling angrily.

Ok, so no child was harmed in the filming of my life this morning, but why should I have to endure such psychotic ramblings just so I can get safely to work?

All I ask is that my sidewalks are clear, and that my bus drivers aren't schizophrenic.

PERS - Face of the Earth.

2005-11-18T12:39:00.000-04:00

You may/may not be wondering what has been going on with me in the last little while.

Well, I've been working. Working at the call centre, and working on my arts portfolio.

I've applied to OCAD and the admissions office suggested I apply for Advanced Standing, which could possibly allow me to skip a year. But before I can think about skipping the year, I have to make one kick-ass portfolio. The portfolio evaluation will be in February, and I'm excited about it all.

I've been painting, sculpting, assembling, sketching, and drawing several pieces, and swapping them back and forth to replace good ones with slightly less good ones. The requirements for advanced standing ask that I include some 3D art work, so I've been constructing a light fixture, as well as brainstorming a scene acted out by some wire figures.

I'm in the middle of a shift at work as we speak, but I may put up some of my artwork at a later date.

Time wasters:
Stuff On My Cat.com - a website where numerous cats are photographed with stuff on them. It's interesting just how many cats love to be covered with objects.

Inspector Parker - this is definitely old school, but here's a detective type game in the same vein of the board game Clue where you sort out where people and objects are to solve a murder. Give it a chance, it's pretty fun.

Diner Dash - for those of you who dreamed of being a waiter/waitress but just didn't have the determination or university degree to do it, ease some of your heartache with Diner Dash, a game where you run a diner and watch as customers get really angry when you forget to place their order or sit them down to eat.

That's all for now...and uh, sorry for not updating EVER.

POP MUSIC - Time goes by so slowly...

2005-10-12T08:11:00.000-03:00

Madonna's obviously aware that when she leaks little tidbits of her up and coming songs out to the public, that she makes time go really really slow.

She's succeeded in stopping time by teasing us with samples of her new single "Hung Up", which will finally be heard in its entirety October 17th.

In the event you were living in a cave, "Hung Up" is the first single from her album "Confessions on a Dance Floor", which comes out in November.

To please all dance floor historians, she is sampling Abba's "Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Man After Midnight)", and to put it lightly, it sounds awesome.

Every little thing that you say or do I'm hung up...I'm hung up on you.

I haven't really been a fan of mindless dance music for the last 5 years - with the exception of Kylie Minogue's "Can't Get You Outta My Head" or Gwen Stefani's "What You Waiting For" - but I make exceptions for aging blonde musical pop queens.

This time next week I will have heard the entire track, and I can't wait.

For the latest news, visit the following Madonna mega-fan sites:

M.nu
MTribe.com
MFever.com
MLicious.com

PERS - In My Pants!

2005-10-04T10:34:00.000-03:00

Taking an idea I first saw on Amanda's journal, I took 20 songs from my mp3 player playlist, and added "In My Pants" to the end of each of them. How fun!

Here they are:

20. Radio Gaga In My Pants (Queen)
19. Die Another Day In My Pants (Madonna)
18. Run In My Pants (Air)
17. Lose My Breath In My Pants (Destiny's Child)
16. Rock On In My Pants (Jackson & His Computer Band)
15. Pug In My Pants (Smashing Pumpkins)
14. Breathe Me In My Pants (Sia)
13. Cherry Blossom Girl In My Pants (Air)
12. Brand New Colony In My Pants (Postal Service)
11. Tainted Love In My Pants (Marilyn Manson)
10. Filthy/Gorgeous In My Pants (Scissor Sisters)
09. Rich Girl In My Pants (Gwen Stefani)
08. Nothing Better In My Pants (Postal Service)
07. Appels + Oranjes In My Pants (Smashing Pumpkins)
06. Let Forever Be In My Pants (Chemical Brothers)
05. One More Time In My Pants (Daft Punk)
04. Hard Tits In My Pants (Jackson & His Computer Band)
03. Good Vibrations In My Pants (Beach Boys)
02. Love, Love, Love In My Pants (The Organ)
01. Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger In My Pants (Daft Punk)

Honourary Mention (aka not on my mp3 player):

Hung Up In My Pants (Madonna)

PERS - Life after Canadian Idol.

2005-10-04T08:07:00.000-03:00

Yes, that's right. I'm still capable of posting even after Melissa won the damn thing.

Where to start...

I went on stress leave for 6 weeks in August into September. I became quite overwhelmed with anger and other assorted emotions before storming out of work and running to the clinic.

Surprisingly to me, the time I had off really helped me to calm down and re-evaluate the situation. Also, I'm taking Celexa, but the jury is still out on whether it's actually working or just making me sensitive to light and causing me to yawn every 5 minutes. It's covered under the company's health plan, so it only cost me $0.97 to give it a try. Fortunately, I didn't become psychotically suicidal as some websites have said about the drug's side effects.

The wheels are turning on my plan to enter OCAD in Fall 2006. It's amazing what a year can do to a person's psyche. When Chris first mentioned the idea of going back to school, I had a panic attack.

I became silent.
I buried my head into a pillow.
I didn't want to consider it.
The idea was absolutely preposterous.
I wanted to change the subject.
It was making me feel really uncomfortable.

Once I considered the alternatives - namely, being a call center bitch for the rest of my life, and realistically never finding a graphic design job with my current credentials - the idea of leaving the workforce for 4 years and being a student sounded really sexy.

I jumped into action and started building a kick-ass portfolio, full of paintings, sketches, graphic designs, and photographs - all organized in a clean, professional layout.

The application has been processed. The transcripts have been scheduled to be sent. The portfolio is close to completion.

I'm really going to do this. And I'm paving the way for an awesome future.

Round Two of Toronto will go much better than the first round. I have a plan this time.

Also, Chris and I are celebrating are first anniversary! Woohoo!

And my supervisor just handed my quality for this month...83.35%! Woohoo!

This bleak world is looking brighter! Woohoo!

And this isn't the Celexa talking....WOOHOO!

But, Gagh! I'm at work, and I have to go on the phone now...

There's no such thing as a perfect situation.

woo...hoo.

POP TV - Ups and Down down downs.

2005-09-20T11:17:00.000-03:00

How in Hell did Google index this as a picture of Melissa O'neil?

Holy delayed reaction, Batman!

I know, it's been much too long.

Melissa O'Neil has been our newest Canadian Idol for a week now and (SHOCK) she's female!

The last week of Canadian Idol went without much incident, except for Zack - looking sexy as ever - in his cheaply made Elvis suit. *BARF*

Needless to say, I'm really happy how this season turned out. Finally the one I wanted to win actually won.

I can't say the same for Big Brother 6, which is coming to a disappointing close tonight with Maggie and Ivette as the final two, edging out Janelle after and HOH competition involving TWO tiebreakers! I had a couple panic attacks, passed out, woke up, slipped into a coma, flatlined, and was reanimated through the latest medical technology only to find out that Janelle was evicted.

Ivette, I actually started to like you, but now I realize you're just a dumb bitch like the rest of your "Friendship".

The only thing I can be assured of tonight is that a useless waste of space will win $500,000 tonight.

FINAL CI3 SASSQWATCH UPDATE!!

How could I forget to mention Sass Jordan's performance on the final night of Canadian Idol? And how could she possibly think this would be a great thing to do?

She wailed and screamed her way through her performance as Canada judged every note she didn't hit.

My final thoughts on her performance? Hmmm...I don't know, Sass, there's just something I didn't like about your performance, I just don't know what that is. But for a top-heavy aging Z-list washed up cracked-out celebrity, you're pretty light in the loafers!

PERFORMANCE OF THE NIGHT GOES TO...

Debra Byrd, the vocal coach for the competitors, sang her ass off, showed up everyone, and got a well-deserved standing ovation. Her surprised reaction to the audience applause was priceless. Debra, time to release and album; people will buy it.

If you remember anything that happened last week (Sorry for the delayed post), what did you think of the final week?

POP TV - Free Walpole.

2005-09-08T09:07:00.000-03:00

Aaron Absolutely Annihilated!

Another week of Canadian Idol has come and gone, and we are left with Rex Goudie and Melissa O'Neil.

I am definitely happy that Melissa has made it to the finals, as I've been rooting for her for weeks now. Thanks to a bunch of ritalin-deficient teen girls, Rex also made it even though both of his performances were HORRIBLE.

I don't hate Barenaked Ladies, even though you'll never find one of their songs in my collection. What I do hate is people covering Barenaked Ladies songs. So you can assume that I did not enjoy any of the performances. The only thing that mattered to me is that they were hitting the notes, singing on key, and not being pitchy. Rex did none of this.

Melissa did what she had to do, and nailed it. What I like about her is that she has this Kelis like presence about her. She's always got a smirk on her face, her voice is mildly squeaky, and her milkshake - contrary to popular opinion - DOES bring all the boys to the yard.

Aaron - the loser this week - did his best Olivia Newton-John impression and got physical during the second performance. He also tried his hardest to cry during his first song, because he thought it really worked for him for the last 3 weeks. He also could not take his eyes off the camera, which makes me believe that the cameramen were eating pizza. Delissio pizza to be exact.

Oh yeah. That reminds me. What the hell was that pizza commercial all about?

Wait. I already know it was some sloppy in-show commercial that John Dore once again must participate in. What started out as a voyeuristic view of the Canadian Idol finalists having fun turned into a straight-up disgusting pizza porn. A myriad of shots involving pizza sitting on a plate and contestants devouring pizza assaulted my eyes.

Now that I've mentioned Kraft's pizza, I've basically given them free advertising.

So to balance things out:

Remember kids, It's Not Delivery. It's DISGUSTING!

My point is that in-show commercials make my stomach turn. I didn't like it when the American Idols did those Ford Focus spots, I didn't like it when John Dore became a whore to Canada Post, and I certainly can't agree with watching Aaron Walpole eat.

So here we are, left with Rex and Melissa. I really hope that Melissa wins this thing, not only because she's the only one left who can actually sing both in lower and higher registers, but because I'd really like to see a girl Canadian Idol. First season it was a guy, second season it was a guy-girl hybrid, so the next logical step is to have a female Idol.

On the positive side - as Chris so eloquently said himself as we viewed the show - we will at least have a winner who is more than 115 lbs.

What did you think about this week? Who do you want to win?

POP TV - Go West! In the open air. (video)

2005-09-03T10:37:00.000-03:00

Kanye West, clearly very emotional, delivered a condemning off-script speech about how they are portraying black people in New Orleans during the Live NBC Fundraising special for Hurricane Katrina victims. He seemed ready to cry as he stumbled over his words.

"They've given [the army] permission to shoot us!"

Get the video here

I support anything that goes off-script, so I thought this was fantastic. It's a shame that a strong opinion isn't appreciated by NBC, or that they had to cut to a wildly bug-eyed shot of everyone's favourite squealing idiot, Chris Tucker.

Go West!

POP TV - Laxative TV.

2005-08-30T21:35:00.000-03:00

[Edited August 31st]

I really had difficulty watching this week's performance episode of Canadian Idol. Not because I had explosive diarrhrea, but because it was 97% corny and pointless. Until tonight, I never imagined I would ever pray for being stricken with explosive diarrhea.

Here's the deal: I don't mind Elvis music. I've listened to his massive catalog of music, and I know what songs would be great to showcase talent. Elvis had hit a lot of amazingly high notes.

However, not one contestant chose any of those songs.

Instead, they went for the cheesy, overplayed songs that everyone has heard so many times that they have become iconic to Elvis and loved/hated. Thus, the hard-to-swallow schmaltz ran strong throughout the entire show.

Aaron Walpole set off the first bomb by performing a song that showed no vocal talent. He was to later follow up that song with another abysmal attempt to bring people to tears. Instead, it brought blood to my ears.

Suzi Rawn then took the stage with her finest Prince uniform, complete with ruffles, soldier jacket, and sculpted moustache.

Ok, so there was no moustache involved. This week she finally realized the benefits of Nair.

Her second performance, sad to say (not sad at all), was awful. Her arrangement was interesting; it's a shame she couldn't sing one note of it properly.

Melissa O'Neil...I hope people will still vote for you because I think you are the one to win this competition. However, tonight's combined with last week's performance may be the final nail to your coffin. You've got a great voice, I'd rather you be touring around Canada with a band for a while, and not performing at the grand opening of Quizno's in Minto.

Who am I kidding? The winner of Canadian Idol has the inevitable fate of singing "Start Me Up" in front of newly opened Quizno's across the country.

Just ask this to Ryan Malcolm after you've informed him you wish to omit cheese from your sub, but you would enjoy a hot pepper on the side.

I've never wanted something more
And I've never felt so sure
Cause now I've got this chance to be...
...a complete dick to Ryan Malcolm.

[Edit August 31st]

I totally forgot to mention Rex Goudie in this recap yesterday. My brain clearly was trying to erase all memory of his second performance. The entire thing was incredibly pitchy and very hard to watch. He sang the first song fairly well. There must have been some sort of incident involving water between performances.

[End Edit]

Outside the contestants' performances, did you notice that Zack was in an entirely black outfit, while Jake, on the opposite end, was in white? I know what you're thinking: this is obviously symbolizing that Jake is the good guy, and Zack's stylist is a talentless douchebag.

SASSQWATCH UPDATE!!

Case and point why Sass Jordan should not be a judge: After Melissa O'Neil finished her rendition of "A Little Less Conversation" (which, by the way, was Junkie XL's version of the Elvis song of the same name), Sass raved at how enjoyable and impressive the performance was, and yet at the very end of the comments said she sang the entire song off key. Does this not cancel out anything she just said? I'm pretty convinced that at this point the Canadian public has already cancelled out anything Sass ever said or released as "music".

It's at times like this that we have to try as hard as we can to focus on the positive. I can proudly say that on the upside, there was no live band tonight, which - unlike previous weeks - prevented any of the contestants from giving anyone on-stage a rusty trombone.

What did you all think of this week's show?

POP TV - You and your beady little eyes.

2005-08-25T00:23:00.000-03:00

A tearful farewell to a dedicated performer...

Ernie "Mr. Dressup" Coombs 1927-2001

...Oh, Casey LeBlanc? SEE YA BEYOTCH!

Well, the truth is that I don't have much to say about this week's Canadian Idol.

You would think I would, considering Nackawic Nitwit Casey LeBlanc was obliterated out of the competition. Or that Josh left the week before, after his wildly embarrassing performance. And I was kidding about the "beyotch" comment. I like Casey. Her Oscar speech at the end of the night was actually uplifting. I just know that some of you out there appreciate her being called a bitchy ho. She began to pop her pruny head out of her shell, and the Canadian public just kicked it right back in. On the upside, Finnigan will always be there to flip his ears around and refuse to speak. God, Finnigan was an anti-social asshole. It's amazing that I grew up to like pets.

Anyway, aside from that, nope, I don't have much else to say.

SASSQWATCH UPDATE!!

This just in! Sass Jordan still hasn't proven her validity to the world. Although when she attempted to take away Suzi Rawn's steam by singing American Woman over her, she proved that she can sing like a Vietnamese prostitute can do your taxes.

POP TV - Post Brunt.

2005-08-17T08:40:00.000-03:00

So let's face it.

Last night's show wasn't that great. Melissa did an amazing performance, Casey came out of her shell a bit, Aaron picked the worst song he could, the bass guitarist received way too much camera time, and Josh made an erotic guitarist sandwich.

Whoa, wait. What the hell was Josh thinking? That was the most embarrassing scene of the entire season. Yes, even more embarrassing than Sloppytits. Couldn't the guitarist just hand the guitar over? Why did it have to involve an obviously uncomfortable embrace? I'd ask Josh myself, but I'd be afraid he wouldn't shut up.

Here's a quick run down of the performances:

Melissa "I deserve to win" O'Neil - Wow. She did absolutely fantastic. Performance of the night, and since she went first, it made for a rather disappointing show.

Rex "Pizza after midnight" Goudie - 15% screaming, 80% acknowledging the band while singing off-key, 5% on-key.

Suzi "I'm a PUNK, BLEAUAHH!" Rawn - I'm really growing tired of Suzi. Same shit, different night. She should be eliminated this week, and if she isn't, she should show us how she can adapt to a genre, instead of depending on the same antics to get a result. I know, this week was Rock night, which pretty much gives her a license to continue in that fashion, but you know when it's Disco Night or Love Ballad night, she'll still be headbanging.

Casey "Dutch Elm Disease" LeBlanc - I'll admit, she did seem more comfortable this time around, which could be due to the progress of the show, or a gusty wind blew across the stage.

Aaron "Blecch" Walpole - "Hot Blooded" while wearing a Karate Kid t-shirt?? This will be the song selection that will no doubt put him in the Bottom 3, possibly getting him eliminated.

Josh "Embarrassment to Society" Palmer - Oh. My. God. Why why why why why? I can just hear what the guitarist was thinking: "My career is over. My career is over. Why did I agree to this? And what is poking into my back? ...Oh god. Oh god. Just close your eyes, this will all be over soon."

Oh, and last but not least, let me thank the band one by one, because every goddamn person on the planet seems to be doing it.

Why didn't the flutist get the same respect last week?

What did you think?

POP TV - Jump in under the waterfall and climb the rainbow tree.

2005-08-14T21:54:00.000-03:00

I just watched an episode of Popcultured (on the Comedy Network) and on it was an interview with Daryl Brunt, the most recent eliminated contestant from Canadian Idol.

I'm sure it was a rerun, it probably was on the night after the show.

Nonetheless, he was very quiet and usual self, although at times he was able to keep up with Elvira Kurt's humourous comments. Much of the interview reminded me of those interviews that daytime talkshow hosts have with little children. The host speaks for 95% of the interview in a desperate attempt to get the guest to murmur a word.

At one point, Elvira was trying to rile up Brunt, and said "I never see you angry, I'd like to see you angry." To which Daryl gave a frown to the camera, curled his lips and said "You don't want to see me angry."

Let's just say Daryl Brunt quoting The Hulk was nothing but adorable.

Then Elvira asked if the rumours were true that there was heroin available at the Idol Mansion...Daryl just said "We keep that on the down-low."

Cute.

Daryl should have his own show and it should be called "Brunt TV". It would be exactly like "The Prince Show" on SNL. He could have Nelly Furtado at his side to relay whispered messages to each guest. He would giggle at the guests answers, and break into tears at random. Then he would ask each guest to do something ridiculous, like play poker with a gorilla, or cover-up their blatant homosexuality. He'd finish each show with his rendition of "Tainted Love" and end it by flashing his signature uncomfortable smile.

I'm still sort of reeling at the fact that he got eliminated, I really thought he was going to make it to the Top 5.

Hopefully Melissa doesn't kick the bucket next week.

POP TV - The Last Grunt.

2005-08-10T21:24:00.000-03:00

---

Daryl Brunt after being eliminated on Canadian Idol

POP TV - Brunt Given Brunt of Judge's Grunts

2005-08-10T09:07:00.000-03:00

SASSQWATCH UPDATE!

Sass Jordan is a bitchy cunt. That's right, I said it.

Last night's Canadian Idol was infuriating due to the fact that they completely bashed the performance and physical appearance of Daryl Brunt. Sass Jordan - the bitchy cunt she is - referred to Daryl as a mix between "Peewee Herman and Jerry Lewis" attempting to sing a standard. The rest of the judges decided to jump on the asshole train and totally condemned Daryl in every way in a failed attempt to get him to cry on-stage and tell all the prepubescent girls that Daryl doesn't swing their way.

To a degree, the producers probably do not want another male to win, let alone another male who has a pinch of shyness with an effeminate stance ("I'm talking about Ryan Malcolm, Rose" as Dorothy would say).

If I have to hear another goddamn "I don't know what it is about you, but I don't like it" speech from the judges, I'm going to have to write a strongly worded letter to CTV telling them what they already know - that the judges are all idiots that skip constructive criticism in favour of useless self-serving comments about their shirt.

Case and Point - I watched Rock Star: INXS, and the judging on that show is so refreshing. Honest, hardcore "take home with you" advice for each contestant. And when the judges didn't enjoy the performance, they told them why. They knew why they didn't like it. No "I don't know"'s.

How did the others fair out?

Suzi Rawn - Wearing a frumpy dress and arm length gloves, Suzi decided to take the low and slutty road with her wildly loose movements. I understand her need to individualize a big band song with her "style", but she should have toned down her "rock star" antics and instead kept things a little more elegant and fancy. She was one step away from flipping her dress up, sticking her tongue out and grabbing her crotch, just like Ella Fitzgerald. Also notice how no one can spell Suzi's name right? All the signs in the audience were a mixture of "Suzie", "Suzy", "Suzee" and "Skank".

Aaron Walpole - This type of music was perfect for him. It tapped into his theatrical sensibilities. It was big and dramatic, like his all-bacon diet. I loved the dancing intermission where he swayed the mic, twirled around, and worked the stage. The last time I saw such fantastic acrobatics was at Seaworld.

Melissa O'Neil - She won me over last week with "I need a Hero". She continued to win me over with her performance last night. She looked like she was having a lot of fun, and was very comfortable. She rocketed her way up to my #1 pick. (Also, I chose this picture to represent Melissa a while back before I really knew what she was all about. I know now that Melissa isn't a pretentious bitch like Ashanti.)

Josh Palmer - I'm sorry guys, I don't get him at all. Why does he have to end every verse with a constipated look and a chipmunk-like vibrato? I don't call that artistry, I call that a need for laxatives. He managed to hit most notes last night, and it was probably one of his best performances. He will probably leave this week, or at least be in the bottom 3.

Rex Goudie - He proved his talent to me last night. He didn't scream or roar for the most part, and showed that he can actually hit notes without sounding like a dying horse. He needs to wear a suit more often, avoid getting wet and stop eating pizza after midnight.

Casey LeBlanc - That's right, folks - Casey cracked. Close to the end of her performance, she sounded like she just stepped on a cat. Her awkward hand movements were obviously added after she was told people would mistake her for a pine tree. But apparently lumber gets votes. We in New Brunswick love our forests, Casey, so keep looking stiff and lifeless!

Daryl Brunt - Daryl's performance was not bad at all, which is the opposite of what the judges want you to believe. It was charming, cute, and exactly what his teeny-bopper fanbase is looking for. And by fanbase, I mean people like this and this and this and this. He's speaking to them, and they're speaking back to him with votes. Fuck you Jake, Zack, Farley, and last and ALSO least, Sass - you bitchy cunt.

I think Casey, Suzi, and Josh are total Bottom 3 material at this point. I doubt Daryl will end up there because he got a ton of pity votes last night.

What do you think?

PERS - Really Personal.

2005-08-06T08:51:00.000-03:00

Hey guys,

Just thought I'd let you all know (particularly those I work with) that I have taken a medical leave of absence due to stress for at least 6 weeks.

I have been feeling like I could not take another call for some time now (my series of depressing posts could prove that), but after returning to work from a long weekend and still feeling like pulling all my hair out and crying, I knew I had to get away from the job.

The truth is that I put a lot of faith in the "alternate" promotion I was given. I was convinced it would get me off the phone most of the time. It did not do this. 95% of the time, I am still on the phone. This is what started me on a downward spiral to madness.

I may have been able to be mildly content staying on the phone if the promotion never got in the way. Instead, it gave me false hope that I would be treated with respect, and gave me the wrong idea that I would be given at least a few hours a week just to remind me that I have been promoted. I was a fool to think this, apparently.

If I were off the phones and doing other things, I'd still be working.

Alas, here I am. Unable to work, pissed off at my employer, applying for EI, and contemplating what I wish to do from here.

On top of all of this rancid bullshit, after not getting any hours, I'm being told that the other alternate (who was promoted the same time as me) has now been in the department for 3 straight days, which just so happens to be the amount of days I've been on stress leave now.

In layman's terms, that's a big Fuck you, Daniel!

POP TV - Choo Choo Choose another blouse.

2005-08-02T16:36:00.000-03:00

Chris and I were flipping through the channels a couple nights ago and stumbled upon this flashy number Elizabeth Choo decided to throw on before anchoring ATV Nightside, a late night news program in the Maritimes.

As she spoke about a man who was killed after his boat capsized, I was too incredibly distracted by the all too-revealing apparel graced by wildly flashy polka-dots. To top it all off, she has a hot pink spaghetti-strapped dress underneath - the transparent blouse was no match for the bright pink shining through.

Oh Elizabeth, you cheeky newsmistress, you!

Expecting to see the same strip show the next night, I tuned in to find she was wearing a smart, conservative dull pink tweed coat.

We get it, Elizabeth, you're "hip".

Now stop watching your Sex and the City DVDs and report the news*.

*I'm kidding of course, we need more of this sassy casual wear with all of our TV personalities. You heard me, Suze Orman!

PERS - Wow.

2005-08-02T11:49:00.000-03:00

This nearly brought a tear to my eye.

Nintendo Acapella

POP TECH - Presidential Rag Doll

2005-08-01T09:33:00.000-03:00

I was holding my breath for someone to take this Flash and customize it. Now I can exhale.

Based on the interesting physics-applying Flash animation Tetka or sometimes known as Bubble Girl, this one gives you the ability to throw around our favourite American president, George W Bush.

Enjoy as much as I have!

The George Bush Rag Doll

Also, upon checking my site statistics, I found that I misspelled Suzi Rawn's name. I said it was "Suzie Rawn". Because of this, I am the number #1 source for all information about "Suzie Rawn" according to MSN Search.

It's weird how the Internet works.

POP TV - Why don't we wuv one anuva!?!

2005-07-31T10:05:00.000-03:00

After an interesting night of Big Brother 6, I watched the first episode of "Office Temps", a canadian quasi-reality/candid camera/punk'd show on Global where they put people into the role of office temp and make crazy shit up.

Tonight's episode involved a music company called "Deathskul Records", and two unsuspecting people were placed into the office and were given ridiculous tasks and asked to make decisions no one in their first week of working would make.

The reason why I bring up all of this is that there was a (fake) group they brought in called "Kink and Kat". The (fake) execs asked them to do a performance in front of the (real) temps. This allowed them to turn on the music (to which Kink lip synced all the lyrics...Kat had no singing parts) and perform one of the funniest (fake) songs I've heard in a while.

I wish I could have remembered all the lyrics, but I do remember some of the more hilarious ones (It's too new for any search engine to grasp). Just think of a sexually driven dancey r&b song with an overly-suave sounding guy singing...kind of like Rico Suave, except talking in baby or "elmer fudd" talk.

(He sounds very suave here)"Why don't we wuv one anuva?
Why don't we wuv won anuva?

(He gets loud and grovelly-sounding)"I gotta stay girl!
I gotta stay and get down dirty with my mamma!"

I don't know how well this translates to text, but I was laughing for 20 solid minutes. It was so absurd.

About 2-3 segments after that, they brought in a promotional cut out of Kink and Kat. It just had Kink holding Kat, with Kat's back completely turned from the camera, basically making her totally anonymous.

She was (fake) furious, and said that "That's not Kink and Kat, that's like, Kink and the BUTT." Hilarious.

Then they ended the show with the full "wuv" song playing while the credits rolled.

Overall the show was a bit boring and painful to watch at points, but I think they have room to roll out the "kinks" in future episodes.

But Kink and Kat are right, y'all, why don't we wuv won anuva?

POP TV - See ya later, Shaky McShakes!

2005-07-30T11:22:00.000-03:00

LEITAO LEFT BEHIND TO ENJOY THE VIEW OF CRIPPLING FAILURE

(I know, this is rather belated. Well, stop complaining.)

Ashley Leitao, clearly reeling from the effects of Shaken Baby Syndrome, was not prepared to leave on this weeks Canadian Idol. Someone should have given this lady a paper bag. Not to stop the hyperventilating, but to put over her twitchy head. It was clear, by the vote, that the public did not want to see her anymore. On the positive side, she was able to stand on stage without collapsing or getting into an emotional catfight with Melissa.

Speaking of Melissa O'Neil, Zack was convinced that she was to be the next eliminated contestant, but Zack is also convinced that he is part of a panel of competent judges. Keep that in mind before you place your bets on his predictions, or any of the other ridiculously insipid Idol judges. And by "predictions", I mean "ambiguous comments toward all contestants."

Casey LeBlanc, once again, completely avoided the voting guillotine for another week, proving that all the Nackawic teens are phone sluts. That's right, you heard me, Nackawic High School! Your community wasn't kidding when they deemed your school "Home of the Nighthawks." I'm sure you all stay up at 1 or 2 in the morning to put your votes in during the West coast feed of the show. I'm onto you!

Looks like people aren't enjoying Josh Palmer's "rock star" antics anymore. Not that they ever did, considering he was a wildcard at best.

Now, I know what you're saying: "Clay Aiken was a wildcard, you meanie mean guy!" Well, while that might be true, there is one clear difference between the "Claysterino" and Josh: Clay can sing. Although I must say I would love Josh to sing "Addicted to Love" surrounded by a group of robotic-like, guitar-playing, foxy ladies.

And now you've just experienced the most obscure reference ever. Hint: They share the same last name. That's all I'm going to say.

SASSQWATCH UPDATE!

She's a complete idiot. That is all.

On an un-canadian idol-related note, I left a comment on a recent TVGasm post concerning Big Brother, since I'm pretty addicted to that show now. I'm the fourth comment down, and if you search for "Christmas" on the page, you will see that at least 2 people found my comment funny.

I'm currently mailing them my autograph and a lock of my hair.

Always gotta please the fans!

POP TV - Stevie Wonder must be rolling around in his future grave!

2005-07-26T21:46:00.000-03:00

Has anyone informed Josh on the advancements in facial hair removal technology?

Note to Amber: Tell Josh all your secrets. He needs to know how you keep your beard under control.

Y'know, it's certainly a great thing that there are commercial breaks. Without them, Ben wouldn't get a chance to clean the shit off his face after shoving his head up each and every contestant's ass. His mother Mila made a guest appearance, even though she's probably disowned Ben years ago.

What is apparent is that the producers demanded that Daryl keep his "gay" off the camera. You could tell he wanted to wiggle his butt like Ricky Martin throughout the entire performance, but instead he made one awkward hip displacement maneuver, then did a shout out "to his peeps, yo." So long as prepubescent girls think he will marry them, then he still as an audience. However, adults can easily see that "straight" fits him like a size 32 pants would fit Aaron.

"What about poor, defenseless, charming Casey?" said NO ONE. The judges are right (for once). This girl needs to get out of her titanium-grade shell, and start singing as good as everyone else. Those country fair performances just won't do it.

SASSQWATCH UPDATE!!

Just when I thought I was going crazy, I realized the odd noises heard immediately after Melissa's performance were the atonal sounds coming out of Sass's mouth. Was she trying to impress people with her "talent"? She has proven one thing tonight: She can sing as great as Stevie Wonder can ride a bike.

I will leave the final words to the host of the show...take it away, Ben!

"Thanks Daniel. And if YOU want to see me deliver a poorly related line to the song this contestant just performed, send a letter into CTV and tell them how much you suck monkeyballs.

Mulroney OUT!"

POP TV - Worst. Arrangement. Ever.

2005-07-20T20:00:00.000-03:00

EMILINATED!

Emily was the first one to be removed from the Canadian Idol finals, and rightfully so. Anyone who butchers a classic song like Roy Orbison's "Crying" should be barred from singing in public. I would have rather heard her sing "Patio Lanterns".

Yes, it was that bad.

Daryl continued charming us with his winning personality by bauling his eyes out, then scurrying off into a hole burrowed into the set. He's like that 4 year old kid you see in singing competitions who doesn't know why he's there, his parents probably pushed him into doing it, and will fall to the floor play dead if you threaten him. Ok, so that last point was a trait of a possum, but nonetheless, Daryl would do it.

Did anyone notice Casey's "I think Aaron is sexually harrassing me!" look at the end of the show? Everyone was embraced in a line as Emily sang, yet Casey just stood there, seemingly shocked that Aaron had his arm around her. When they huddled together, Casey was comfortable touching Rex, but once again, rejected Aaron's hug.

Don't worry Casey, Aaron may be a big buy, but he does not have a detachable jaw, and you're not small enough to be eaten whole. Well, two bite maximum, but certainly not all at once.

SASSQWATCH UPDATE

Sass Jordan chose a less revealing top for tonight's results show. Each twitch and arm movement caused her unmentionables to sway and jiggle on last night's program. "I don't know what it is, there's just something missing." Thanks for the philosophical insight, Sloppytits. I can tell you what's missing: Your bra.

That's all folks! What did YOU think?

POP TV - Ladies and Gentlemen...

2005-07-16T10:05:00.000-03:00

Here are your Canadian Idol Top 10!

This season is shaping up to be as good as this year'sAmerican Idol!

Let the competition commence!

PERS - Could Rossy be anymore depressing?

2005-07-15T15:27:00.000-03:00

Why does it always surprise me how gloomy Rossy is after I've visited it?

Chris and I received extended lunches, which allowed us to embark on an adventure into the department store/dust magnet. We were looking for things to add to our new apartment. When we found a couple things mildly worth purchasing, we found ourselves in the cashier's queue. Only one person was in front of us, however, we were there for a good 15 minutes.

See, the person in front was this very old man who hardly had the strength to stand. A 20-something girl, tanned and pierced to the nines, was manning the cash and seemed bored out of her mind.

I've been served by her before; she rarely smiles even after cracking a snide joke to the customers or fellow employees. This girl deals with seniors 99.9% of her shift as the mall Rossy is located in is a meeting place for hundreds of nearly-deads.

This set the stage for one of the most depressing, yet oddly humourous situations. The man, clearly flirting with death, was slowly placing his items on the counter. One of those items was a flowery cross not unlike the ones you see at funerals. Once he was finished, he reached into his pocket and put down a $20 bill.

After the girl rang in all of his things, she said "That's $26.47". The man, more animated than ever, reached into his pocket nervously, and began sorting out the change he had in his hand. As he realized the value of each coin he viewed, he would put it onto the counter. After about 3 coins were placed, the girl interrupted his math.

"You can put it on the counter and I'll count it for you", she said impatiently. He then threw the change in an almost grumpy manner, and stared blankly as she slid the coins rapidly towards her, accruing the worth of the items.

As quickly as she slid the final coin her way, she said "Got any more?" He murmered "Yes" and once again, reached into his pocket, and threw more change on the counter.

Almost as a courtesy, she avoided the larger coinage, and opted to take a ton of pennies, as if to save the man the burden of carrying such weighty copper.

When she finally had the amount owing, she rang it into her register, and when things couldn't possibly go slower, her till would not open. Thankfully, her supervisor was on hand to fix the faulty machine. The man stood there, thinking he still needed to be there. "You're good", she said insensitively, which prompted the man to scuttle off.

When Chris and I left, we spoke about how ridiculous the situation was, and I could not stop laughing. I was so zoned out at the time that I didn't see how depressing it actually was: A very old man in a gloomy and dusty department store buying a funeral cross - most likely for his dead wife - is rushed through a cashier line by a snotty 20-something, and has to resort to pocket change because he underestimated the cost of the items.

Wow. I would have cried instead of laughed if I wasn't so goddamned insensitive.

I also remembered that a few moments before we reached the cash register, we were in a small aisle when we obstructed an old crippled lady's path. She was trying to drive her cart past us when she crashed into a bristol board display.

Oh, the hilarity!

If you want to witness your own crazy depressing situation, visit your local Rossy!

POP TV - Still not conVINCEd.

2005-07-13T10:43:00.000-03:00

I'm a sucker when it comes to rooting for the Maritime talent.

On last night's Canadian Idol, Saint John's Dianelys Hernandez got a final chance to shine. I think she has a real shot at the Top 10 if one of the requirements to succeeding is giggling near the end of a song. But seriously, hope she gets through.

The award for ugliest face made goes to Luke, who winced at the condemning comments of the judges. It was a unanimous "You suck" across the panel. They must have known he was not idol material when they saw he couldn't handle the weight of the mic in one hand.

Barrett got up on stage and made his plea to Canada through song. The truth is that he doesn't have the presence of a solo artist, but would flourish in an ensemble.

"Oh Barrett, I thought you were growing another dimple. Tee Hee!"
"Oh, Ben..."
"Look at that smile. Wow."
"Well thank you Ben. What are you doing after the show?"
"Something involving you, I hope..."
"How about dinner at YYZ and then coming back to my hotel room?"
"I've been waiting to hear those words since your first audition."

Sorry, my ability to channel other people's dreams is absolutely uncontrollable.

Anyway, it's no secret that Ben's love of Duracell's plastic family "The Puttermans" has manifested itself in his hair. It just doesn't move. EVER.

In other TV news, Big Brother was fairly interesting last night. Rachel uncovered a secret room after a camera feed was shown on the television in her Head of Household room. After spending 3 days staring at the screen, she snapped out of her stupidity and figured it out. You know the producers are desperate when they pull the Wayne's World "WHOAAAA" unnecessary zoom technique on a clue to get a point across. Rachel obviously wasn't worthy.

The whole group seems to be onto her because they found it oddly calculating that she wouldn't tell them anything about it until she found the place herself.

I've never watched much of Big Brother except for the first season, so I'm rather new to this "Golden Power of Veto" stuff. My first exposure to it was last night, and it involved the HOH also have the Golden Power of Veto. And from what I understand, this will only put a huge target on her back. All she can hope is that no one will want to hit the bullseye. This is one HOH that should stop the tricks to get money.

What did you think about last night's TV?

PERS - The wheels on the bus go...

2005-07-12T09:40:00.000-03:00

This "writing on the bus" thing is getting a little tasking. Sure, I've done it several times in the past, but now all these distracting elements create a difficult environment for collecting thoughts.

Today, its a perpetually screaming baby. This one mother, possibly single, is controlling three children - all under 5 - and she does not look over 25. That's a sure ticket to a mental hospital.

Anyway, I called into work today hoping to get the day off without pay, which does not count against you in the scheme of things. Instead, they offered the first two hours of my shift off. I refused it as there was no bus available to arrive for that start time, and I was already quite awake and ready to go.

Yesterday was a very off day at work, and I realize that not all days are that harsh.

Working in a call center environment for 4 years has taught me one thing: I can't work for more than a year in the same center or I go nuts.

What is the bottom line here?

I will never have a decent career in a call center. NEVER. No one nabs a management position in a call center within a year unless 1) the center just opened, 2) you have useful connections within the company (aka your wife) or 3) you are a lesbian (aka your wife).

I can live with knowing I will never succeed in this "living in a pod" lifestyle because I know I will not be working here by the time 2006 has passed. I don't ever plan to work in a call center again.

And if I ever do, I will be designing their logo, and then getting the hell out of there.

PERS - Open hand over brow and then a sigh.

2005-07-11T16:55:00.000-03:00

Over the last week or so I've been stricken with a very short fuse.

I just returned to work after having the weekend off, and I already find myself losing my sanity on the phone. So much so that I had to go home sick for the last half of my shift.

Is this the beginning of some sort of nervous breakdown? Is it bad enough to take stress leave? Will I not know until I've gone bonkers?

The work environment has fallen apart and is no longer a breeding ground for contentment. Instead, everyone is on-edge, the higher-ups are becoming increasingly strict, and they've ceased to let us know we're doing a good job. In other words, the place has turned into every other call center, which can only be compared to the light, free-spirited, uplifting mood of Nazy Germany.

My friends can attest that I didn't always feel this way about my job. I maintained a decent mood. Now I can't stop using sick time because even the little things bother me, which makes me believe I'm burning out and I should look into taking stress leave.

Searching for another job through the Internet just isn't doing it for me anymore.

P.S. I'm on the bus right now writing this (no surprise, what with no internet access at work). A ton of people just got on, including a morbidly obese 10-year old, and a mentally challenged kid who keeps making this loud, gutteral "Aaauugh!" noise.

To say the least, I'm now officially distracted.

POP TV - Idol Schmidol.

2005-07-06T09:44:00.000-03:00

I've moved out of my shitty house and moved into a nice two bedroom apartment.

This is my excuse for not updating in a millenia.

My other excuse is the current restriction on all diversionary materials at work (no Internet, no books, no magazines, no games, no daydreaming, no non-business thought, no emotion, etc.). This cripples my ability to write any entries.

OK, enough sob story.

I must tell you that I've been following Canadian Idol this season. Nackawic Nymph Casey Leblanc had the nation behind her because of the hardships her town faced over the last year with their local mill shutting down. She claims to have entered the competition to give hope to her community, but the hard truth is that she doesn't want to go down with the ship. Expect her to use the "broken community" charm to claw her way into the Top 5.

This week's episode has left me completely confused as to who will advance to the Top Te...

Oh, who am I kidding, it was over for all the rest when the fat guy sang, and Suzi "Rawbones" Avril Lavigne'd her way into the finals.

Has anyone noticed that Sass Jordan seems to be dipping into Paula's "happy pills"? Is it now a requirement that the female judge be on crack?

I'm going to keep an eye on her and document it in a series called SASSQWATCH!

OK, don't hold your breath waiting for that one.

What are your thoughts on this season?

PERS - Power up the Delorean, Doc!

2005-06-21T09:40:00.000-03:00

It's going to be a pretty hot day outside. It's already 15 degrees celsuis, and should get up to 31.

I've decided to wear my shorts today, even though it will be like taking calls in a butcher freezer at work.

Today I'm neither furious, or wildly happy. I'm just going to smile about the fact that I'm being treated unfairly at work. Moping around is only affecting myself and the friends who have to endure my senseless blabber. The important thing I must remember is that I do not require to move up in this company. This has never been intended to be a "lifer" job for me.

In other news, while riding the bus I saw a guy with a bitchin' face tattoo. If only his 70 year-old self time-travelled into the past to show him how awesome that tattoo looks in the future. Then his older self would travel back to his time, and with technology, regrew skin in place of the wrinkled tattoo in the comforts of his own living pod.

After all, he couldn't have told himself to not get it at all, because then he'd have no reason to travel back in time.

Oh, how I love time travel.

PERS - Thrice upon a time...

2005-06-20T09:46:00.000-03:00

It's been a little over a week since I started this "healthy diet out of psychosis" technique.

Each day I have taken the following:

Minimum 1 glass of V8 Go Juice
Minimum 1 cup of Green Tea
2 Multivitamins

So far the results are inconclusive, but outside the workplace I've felt more creative and productive. I've chosen to add one more ingredient to this recipe: 1 Cup of Coffee in the morning.

To be honest, I have never drank coffee in the morning, but desperate times call for desperate measures, and Chris gave me the idea. I really need to get out of this "I hate work" slump.

The last time I was at work, I stormed out because I was absolutely livid. And you better believe it has everything to do with my "promotion".

The other alternate in the department - hired the exact same time as me - has worked at least 20 hours in that department in the last two weeks. How much have I worked in the same period?

FOUR HOURS.

What bothers me the most is that the other alternate gets scheduled in advance, and I know this because she gets full 8 hour shifts that fall outside her original "on the phone" schedule.

I couldn't blame the head of the department if she was asked to come work there on the fly, in the middle of her regular shift because I haven't been to work much, and my chances of going in on the fly are greatly diminished. No, I'm furious because she's scheduled ahead of time, which I'm always available for (when I'm at work, a quick phone call when I'm home, etc. etc.)

Should I have to whine and bitch to the manager about this? Of course I shouldn't.
Will I have to? Probably, if I plan to get any results.

I'm really thinking that applying for that position was the worst decision I've made in the last six months.

The worst decision of the year? Signing the lease for the house I currently live in (for 10 more days, thank god.)

More details on that in a future post.

This post has been brought to you by the letter "R" for "Repetitive" and "Ranting".

POP TECH - Dude, you're broke!

2005-06-18T10:12:00.000-03:00

PERS - The Call Centre Style.

2005-06-15T11:41:00.000-03:00

I think I've overused the term "realization" in my blog, but here I go again.

I've come to a STIFF REALIZATION as to how to cope and handle a call efficiently and to get an excellent quality monitor score at the end of the month.

I think this realization came to me because I'm now drinking V8, taking two multivitamins a day, and drinking green tea.

All you need to follow is 4 EASY steps:

1. Act like a robot, but do not sound like a robot.
2. Keep telling yourself you have no right to any emotion during a phone call.
3. Remind yourself frequently that you are unimportant.
4. Make sure you keep your rights as a human being at the entrance of your call centre.

I know, I know, these are all extremely negative - but only negative to YOU! And if you remember step 3, you already know that this minor issue DOES NOT MATTER, because YOU ARE UNIMPORTANT.

What a person looks for when they call is a robot. Not just any robot however, but a robot that sounds like a shit-happy human being who has absolutely nothing better to do then to listen to his or her sorry ass, tend to his or her every need, and would die for him or her if it meant you could save $3 on their bill. If you do not work at the same pace and efficiency level as a robot, you are a horrible employee, and even more horrible at customer service, and you must be disciplined.

If you are a robot who sounds like a robot, you will be condemned, taken apart, and used for scrap metal. If you're not as perfect-sounding as the recorded message they heard when they first called, you are a horrible employee, and even more horrible at customer service, and you must be disciplined.

The truth is that to a customer, you are not a human being - only they are. You are the machine they control that gets them what they want. A computer does not get angry when you yell at it, so why should you get angry or frustrated at a customer when they do the same to you? If you take on a stern tone with a customer who's giving you shit, you are a horrible employee, and even more horrible at customer service, and you must be disciplined.

If you are mentally exhausted by the end of the day after following these 4 simple steps, I must, once again, refer you to step 3.

P.S. I have tried this technique for a few hours, and I've come to the conclusion that it is impossible to be 100% compliant with said steps. You either A) become too tired to continue such a positive tone, B) your politeness is not mirrored by the customer in 5 or more calls in a row, or C) you get the biggest fucking asshole on the phone who wants nothing more than to ruin your life, get you fired, and make you feel inferior to his own excrement.

The technique is effective, but not bulletproof. And if this all sounds bitter to you, it is because I AM BITTER.

Cheerio!

PERS - Folic Acid is your friend.

2005-06-13T09:36:00.000-03:00

The last couple weeks at work have been really hard to deal with.

I've been stressed out, frustrated, depressed, and angry on the phones, which will no doubt come through on my quality monitor, which will be completed...eventually. I worked a total of four hours in my promoted position over the last month, and I blamed all my frustration and anger on this fact. It made me more livid just thinking about it.

A day or two ago I read an article in Discover magazine that I purchased a couple of weeks ago. In it was a story of a brother and a sister who both had severe mental conditions. Their mother, who had been battling with manic depression, killed herself the year before. The daughter, in a mental hospital, was diagnosed a psychotic, and believed their was a gaping hole in her chest where demons entered and escaped at will. The son had extremely violent tendencies - so much so that the family often feared for their own lives.

Their father attempted to concoct a "curing potion" consisting of only vitamins and minerals. He got the idea after a successful attempt to cure a group of hogs from stress and violent behavior through introducing basic nutrients.

After only two weeks of taking their "potions", both siblings' conditions had all but disappeared, which brings me back to my current struggle.

I put down the article about halfway through when I came to a shocking realization: I stopped taking multivitamins shortly before my mental health started going downhill. I didn't just slow down my daily dose - I unconsciously quit cold turkey.

The "vitamin cure" has not been thoroughly tested in the science community, but could all my mental woes be mostly the effect of vitamin and mineral depravation?

Chris can attest the fact that I've been really out of it at work in the last couple weeks, and in those same couple weeks I haven't been getting my nutrients. I also went through a bad cold. He could also attest that all I eat is fast food, pizza pops, and chocolate - not exactly healthy stuff.

I ran downstairs and took two multivitamins immediately, and I've been taking two daily ever since.

We'll see where this rabbithole goes.

PERS - Hobblob update!

2005-06-11T17:38:00.000-03:00

New Hobnobbers site design!

New Hobnobbers comic!

JUMP JUMP JUMP!

PERS - It's a Cruel...Cruel! Cruel Summer.

2005-06-08T09:36:00.000-03:00

There was a guy outside my house this morning who was digging through my trash. I just put it out there and almost as soon as I was in the house he was there. My curiousity compelled me to glare at him at a reasonable distance.

I didn't actually see what he removed as I was preparing breakfast, but I assumed it was recyclables. It wasn't long before he was onto the next household's garbage.

I felt a bit violated, but not enough to run out and have a full-on bum fight. I let him to his "job".

I'm also realizing just how unhealthy the lawn is outside my house. I mowed it last week, and now there are foot high dandelions towering over the rest of the weeds. I've been meaning to mow the lawn this week, but on Monday and Tuesday it's been damp and rainy. The reason I'm so anxious about it is due to some city bi-law that requires you to keep your lawn looking pretty. Maybe the city of Fredericton can pay for a lawn care specialist to assess my situation and execute a strategy, or they can mow my goddamn weed patch every three hours.

Chris and I are well on our way to finding an apartment. There are so many options out there, so I'm not worried. It's just a matter of how convenient the local will be, and how close it is to downtown. I must say that Chris has taken on most (or all) of this apartment-hunting task, and I'm very grateful for that. I will be the first to admit that I really am rotten at finding a place to live, and I'm lucky to have him.

Lastly, I'm finally coming out of this cold. My voice is coming back, and the coughing is now minimal.

Hooray for white blood cells!

PERS - Ear Wax Flavour.

2005-06-07T09:38:00.000-03:00

About two hours after I posted the last entry, I was asked if I was available for some shifts pertaining to the promotion. It's a conspiracy, I tell you!

Last night Chris and I watched Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone.

It was the very first time I had immersed myself in the Potter world; Never read a book or watched a movie, although I did eat some Bertie Botts issued by Jelly Belly Jelly Beans.

They are absolutely disgusting. You should try some!

I knew I would enjoy this movie, but it exceeded my expectations. Harry's conversation with the zoo snake, the barrage of mail by owls, Hermione's intelligence and overall presence, and Alan Rickman's performance were all fantastic.

I can't wait to see Chamber of Secrets, and Prisoner of Azkaban, and Goblet of Fire (coming out this year). I'm sure they'll be just as good!

PERS - Shams, Colds, Shutdowns.

2005-06-06T09:49:00.000-03:00

I'm feeling much better now as my cold is disappearing, but it has left me with a scratchy throat and fragile vocal chords. This is no condition for call center work, and yet here I am, about to start.

I've used an assload of sick time in the last week or so, and even though I verified that I wasn't going beyond my limit, I still feel like I've used too much.

As far as that job I was promoted to, that turned out to be a sham. I mean, I haven't worked that job in at least two weeks. I realize it is only an alternate position, but it seems that the exact time I need to get off the phone (aka when I'm sick) is the exact time they won't take me off the phone. Not fun.

I've been in a fairly creatively-challenged slump in the last week as well, which I'd like to blame on the illness, but it's probably my general mindset. Also, my laptop has been overheating much more than usual, and it is very aggravating. I start working on something, save the bulk of it, start a little more, and it shuts off. I tried slowing down the processing speed, and it seems to be doing the trick, but should I have to do that? I damn well think not. So I'm deleting the big files on my computer and burning what I can't do without.

Well, gotta start the day.

Wish me luck in hopes that I don't lose my voice today.

PERS - As a dog.

2005-06-01T22:43:00.000-03:00

For the last 3 days I've been hit by a really nasty cold.

So nasty, in fact, that I've taken 2 and a half days off work so far. It might be a third if my immune system cannot get its act together by tomorrow morning.

I've been fairly unenergetic in these last few days. I managed to beat off 2 stomach cramp scares, which I'm pretty happy about. I think that sometimes I get hungry, but instead of getting that starving feeling, I instead get a sharp pain that lasts for hours. It's strange, I know. I also managed to get the lawn mowed, which was also mildly fulfilling.

Right now I'm quite achey ALL over and exhausted, which is why I'm typing this entry instead of out with Chris at a restaurant. He said if I don't come with him and his posse to eat, he made sure I vowed to eat something before going to bed, to avoid waking up with a cramp again. Always looking out and caring for me, just like a boyfriend should. Thanks honey. And of course, I just downed a quesadilla, fulfilling that promise, and I'm working on a cup of green tea, which is my new thing that I drink every day.

I don't know why my TV is still on after watching Canadian Idol, considering it's tuned into "Dancing with the Stars", the worst concept for a TV show I think I've ever encountered.

Ohhh, a crappy version of "September" by Earth, Wind & Fire is being danced to now! What a horrible rendition of this song, it's way too slow...

Nonetheless, great song. Yeah.

This stream of consciousness was brought to you by the Common Cold.

PERS - The Staredown

2005-05-31T10:07:00.000-03:00

Do you want a huge 35" x 23" version of this hanging on your wall?
Go to my CafePress shop and BUY IT!

PERS - Fairly Huge Hobnob update!

2005-05-29T22:21:00.000-03:00

The Hobnobbers now has a total of 3 new comics this weekend!

Also, I've added a "Comments" section as well as an "Ask The Hobnobbers" area.

Just check the left panel to access both new sections.

In case ya haven't done it yet, JUMP!

PERS - 50th Post Blowout Spectacular!

2005-05-28T11:32:00.000-03:00

I just realized that I've reached my 50th post!

50 posts is not an easy feat. That's why it is important to use filler, such as links to other places and announcements about updates to my Hobnobbers site. It's really no different from a 22-episode tv show that uses plots that go way off the main storyline. Consider this post to be a recap episode.

Ahh. Memory lane. From Mint Chocolate to American Idol to Bathroom Dysfunction.

Now American Idol is over, my bathroom has long been fixed, and the price of Pot of Gold Mint Collection has returned to its regular price since stores cleared their Christmas overstock.

What will the rest of the year bring?

More filler! Yay!

PERS - Hobglobbobnob update!

2005-05-28T11:30:00.000-03:00

That's right.

It's been a while folks, but a new Hobnobbers comic is out!

JUMP!

PERS - Fast Times at Ranting High

2005-05-23T01:37:00.000-03:00

I'm realizing now that this will no doubt be my longest blog entry EVER.

So I was recently on Torrentspy when I fell into a forum that had a topic called "Gay Marriage".

As I read through each page, the discussion kept getting more and more heated. I did, however, find that one important piece of this complicated puzzle was missing.

NO GAY CONTENT.

I mean, no gay persons were involved in this heated debate.

I don't know exactly what got into me, but next thing I knew I was writing an epic reply to the nonsense going on in this forum. I could have let sleeping dogs lie, but I felt so compelled to add my two cents.

Here is my first reply:

After sifting through 16 pages of some "interesting" discussion, I think I can safely say I'm the only gay guy who will have posted on here up to this point or at least the only one out of the closet. I don't plan to outwit any of you with expansive research on homosexuality or religion, I just want to speak as a gay guy who's living in today's society.

I live in Canada. I'm in my mid-twenties and have a boyfriend of close to a year. I grew up as a Roman Catholic, but I don't remember any point in time being told in church that if I'm homosexual, I will burn in Hell. I still, however, struggled with being gay. Through school, the gay bashing was severe, so I kept my sexuality on the down low until after I graduated. Little comments made by my parents, friends, and relatives throughout the years gave me the understanding that I could not tell them I was gay or they would abandon me. For me, little to none of this turned out to be true. I lost a few "friends", but my family accepted this part of my life.

Up here in Canada, we seem to be breaking away that horrible - and unacceptable - connection between Church and State that is superglued together in the US. We're in the process of passing a bill that legalizes gay marriage on a federal level. I couldn't be more excited. Of course, the act of marriage itself is very much attached to religion. But the legal contract signed to prove this matrimony is only, and should only be, a state issue. ("...the purest form of love: a binding legal contract." - Simpsons ;})

Currently, I will want to get married to my boyfriend at some point in my life. I didn't always have the desire to be married, but I firmly believed that anyone who wanted to should have the right to do so. Aside from the legal benefits of marriage, for me it is a powerful symbol of monogamy to my partner, letting them know I am in this for the long term and I want to share my life with him. It's not that we don't trust each other in our current status, it is just another phase in our lives that would further prove our love for each other.

...Also, if I'm extremely ill in the hospital and only family members can visit me, I want my partner to be considered part of my family.

I don't feel like, by being in a gay marriage, I'd ruining the sanctimony of marriage. If we're worried we're ruining the "sanctimony", I think the US statistic of 60% of heterosexual marriages ending in divorce should already let you know that marriage in itself is not held as sacred under the current American regime.

The courts seem to be working in my favour up here in Canada, and I hope that soon I will have the opportunity to get married and be considered a married couple no matter where I go in my country.

...So I guess the short of it is, yes I support gay marriage, and even if I had no desire to get married, I deserve the right just as much as straight guys can get married to their girls.

P.S. If you're still looking to the Bible to condemn my sexuality, please go to http://www.truluck.com for a little insight on such misused scripture.

---

I then had two eager responses to this post, one asking me if I would want to be accepted by any religious groups, and my thoughts on divorce/annulment. The next guy basically asked me if I would take "Pancakes" or demand "Hot cakes" (accepting a "civil union" with all the benefits of marriage, or demanding "marriage").

I soon responded myself:

I guess you could say that - because I do not consider myself a believer of any one religion - I would not be too bothered if no church recognized my marriage. I would, however, be bothered if those same churches chose to aggressively condemn my marriage. Many religions do not believe in the saying "To each his own", otherwise everyone would have their own religion, thus there will always be groups out there bashing me because I'm gay and I'm married to a guy (Aka GodHatesFags.com).

Thinking about it, I view marriage as not so much a spiritual or religious occurrence, but simply a vow between two people to be with each other and experience life for a very long time.

I say "very long time" and not a "lifetime" because it's obvious that people change. Nothing in this world stays the same. People can either adapt as a couple, or go their separate ways and get an annulment or divorce. This is no new concept as heterosexuals are divorcing more than they are staying together. I have given it thought, and I have accepted that divorce is an option when no other option can be utilized.

Will the percentages of divorces/annulments be higher in homosexual marriages? I strongly doubt it. It will probably be a lower percentage - at least over the next 20 years. That's right. I said it. Now prepare for a wild tangent here.

Being a straight guy, you have so many more venues to meet, flirt, and marry women. School. The library. Clubs. Church. On the bus. The Internet. Walking down the street.

In current North American society, all gay guys have is Gay Bars and The Internet. Let's just say I could not walk into a library, flirt with the male librarian, and ask him out on a date. I would risk getting my ass seriously kicked...

Oh who am I kidding, all male librarians are gay. It was a bad example. But I'm sure you get what I mean.

I will be frankly honest and say that most forward guys in bars and the Internet seem to be looking for sex. When you do find that one guy who interests you, has the same interests as you, and *shock* actually might be attractive in your eyes, I would call that a miracle. Not a religious miracle. OK all miracles are religious. Ahh, forget it. It's like finding a needle in a haystack. Ahhhh, much better terminology.

So you find this guy, and you work things out, fall in love, and possibly get married.

Now, this may be a shot in the dark, but - speaking in computer terms - if a program is easy to use, more people will use it. If a program requires a steep learning curve, only a chosen few will take the time to learn it. I guess what I'm saying is that if a gay guy is going to marry another gay guy, they'll probably stay together much longer than a heterosexual couple, because it is so difficult for us to find that special someone because we have to hide in the dark all the time. I can't wink or flash a smile at a guy on the street if I think he's cute. He'll probably yell at me or kick me in the stomach. And even if none of this were true, I'd still believe it. Most gay guys feel this way.

Bah! When did I give myself permission to blabble on?

[In reference to another person's comments] "Civil union" and "marriage"....one term is two words, the other is one word. They are only words, but you know what? I will fight to have my union be called a "marriage" simply because heterosexuals are allowed to have the term "marriage" to describe their union. Once again, while it is only a word, it still deems us as something else, to most only a second-class citizen. I don't want to be "something else", I want to be equal. That's all.

Equal rights.

Equal benefits.

Equal legal standing.

Equal terminology.

Even if we separate the definition of these unions only by mere words, they will still always be deemed separate when assigned different terms, and frankly, I don't want that and I won't stand for it.

I don't want to be "civilly unionized". I want to get MARRIED.

---

This saga will no doubt continue as I'm sure to be hit with more questions, seeing as I am now considered the leading expert on homosexuality in this forum. And if I'm not, I damn well should be. I'm currently the only open homo in there!

If you want to go straight to my replies, head on over to Page 16 of this bloated post.

PERS - Speed 3: Stay Under 50 Or Your Dog Gets It

2005-05-20T14:49:00.000-03:00

There was an incredible number of people on the bus this afternoon as I traveled to work for a late shift.

The driver, obviously desperate for attention, proceeded to flirt with the women in his peer group (70 and up), all sitting at the front of the bus. I've never seen this particular driver maintain this level of friskiness before. I can only assume that his personality jumps out in correlation with the amount of passengers present.

In a classic piece of Shakespearean comedy, he jokingly proposed to one of the crippled old ladies, then asked how much she saved up for their honeymoon.

"$2000!" she responded after much thought. The driver said it wasn't enough for what he had planned.

The passenger behind me let out a slight chuckle, while I maintained a stone face. I wasn't particularly in the mood to fain a giggle or a smile. I can theorize that this was funny in some way only because of the reaction of others. And no, I am not a robot.

When the bus started to move to its destination, I thought the "fun" was over. That was until the bus veered off route and stopped in a furniture store parking lot, the most exciting of all commercial lots. No one quite knew what was going on, nor did anyone bother to ask. Initially I thought this was a cross-promotional scam between the Fredericton Transit Commission and Worrell's Furniture store, in some sort of desperate attempt to advertise their wares; However, another bus eventually pulled up beside us and we were instructed to switch over to that bus. We were soon back en route, but I did leave that parking lot with a mysterious urge to buy a discount futon.

All this "fun" caused me to arrive to work later than anticipated.

I was hoping to see Chris on the ass end of his lunch break, but the delay cut that down to 2 minutes.

POP TV - Off the Bubble!

2005-05-20T00:51:00.000-03:00

I'm happy to find out that NBC's British show ripoff, "The Office" has officially been renewed for the fall season!

If you've not seen the US version of The Office, I suggest using any resources you can to see this show; it's hilarious.

Fox's "Arrested Development" has also been renewed when it had been struggling so long to stay afloat. I've only seen 2 episodes of this show, but I've found those two episodes to be seriously funny.

And finally, and unfortunately, Fox's brilliant comedy, "Life on a Stick" has been cancelled. I don't know how I'll ever get through the rest of my days on Earth without this witty and intelligent sitcom brightening my Thursday nights.

OK, I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

PERS - Oopdate.

2005-05-19T23:51:00.000-03:00

Just thought I'd let you all know out there that about an hour after I wrote that ghastly post, I was already feeling much better.

I'm still really anti-productive for some ungodly reason, as you can tell by this entry.

PERS - Blah.

2005-05-18T09:44:00.000-03:00

I'm having a really really really really off day today.

I had a terrible sleep.
I bent my routine out of shape due to my tiredness.
I tried to power nap on the bus, but everything was keeping me awake.
I haven't started work yet, but it sounds incredibly busy.
I tried to get the day off without pay today, but there were no openings to do so.
I could have just called in sick, but I did that for half the day yesterday and I would feel embarrassed to do so today.
I've been unproductive for almost a week now.

I know what you're saying.
"Think of the positive!"
"The day will go away soon enough!"
"Be glad you're not in the hospital!"
"Remember: Bo's going to win American Idol!"

...Ok, actually that last quote - just typing by it - is making my day worse.

Anyway, what's the purpose of a blog if you can't vent every once and a while?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I will now proceed to make my day a living Hell by taking my first call.

GAH!

POP TECH - The Next Big Thing.

2005-05-15T02:17:00.000-03:00

I don't and won't generally call things "The Next Big", but I have to make an exception here. I've been raving about it to a few friends and Chris, so forgive me guys if I'm repeating myself.

I think that Indy will explode in popularity in the next year. It's a FREE program that allows you to listen to free independent music available online.

But it goes beyond spewing random music at you.

The more you listen and vote, the smarter the program gets when it comes to your personal tastes. If you vote 1 or 2 (stars) on a song, the program skips it and moves onto the next one.

The way it gets smart is in the way it compares your choices to that of the other users of Indy. If you liked Song A, and someone else who also liked Song A also likes Song B, it will give you Song B on the idea that you will also enjoy it.

Currently, I'm still working at getting Indy to understand my tastes, and in the process there are growing pains. There's just a lot of music that I wouldn't ever listen to normally. Thankfully, the second you tell it you hate it, it moves on quickly. I'm also being exposed to music I've eliminated from my playlist, and forgot how nice it can sound (such as smooth jazz).

It's also very addictive because I always want to know what the next song is going to sound like.

Anyway go to www.indy.tv, get the program, and start listening to those great unknown artists out there! And NO SPYWARE or ADWARE is involved! It's great!

P.S. I added a couple of my old Pzuto tracks in there, let me know if you get them along the way!

PERS - Whoa. An update.

2005-05-11T23:39:00.000-03:00

So I haven't really updated much lately. I decided against any American Idol updates solely due to the fact that I don't feel the urge to comment on this week's shows.

The truth is that the Amazing Race was er, uh, fantastic and - if I should be so bold to say - amazing. Anthony getting elminated - while very welcomed - was not nearly as exciting as the underdogs getting the million dollars.

Moving on, my new position is growing on me. At first, I believed I would hate it as much as being on the phone, but the truth is that nothing could possibly be as painful as being on the phone. I just felt overwhelmed, confused, and stupid. Now that I have a good grasp on the tools (the filthy-minded can ignore what I just said) I am much more comfortable and feel qualified.

I guess the only issue I need to work on is my anti-social tendencies. Now that I am high profile and everyone knows my name, I have to keep up appearances or so I think. I now feel obliged to say Hi to every Tom, Dick and Mary working there. I look at this as a negative, but in the end it will probably help with my lingering shyness and being prone to avoiding conversation.

Also, I've updated Hobnobbers a few times but neglected to tell you I did here. So yeah...I updated it...so do the jump to see the new comics!

POP TV - "The Body" is removed from the scene.

2005-05-06T09:37:00.000-03:00

Have I been right once about what person would be voted off American Idol? It's safe to say NO.

Fortunately, the one who was eliminated damn well deserved it. Scotty "the Body"'s pompous comments probably did not sit well with the public, and with Simon praising his performance, it proved my theory that pity votes are what kept him in the competition last week. Thank God I don't have to listen to Seacrest saying "Scotty The Body" anymore, that was awful.

For once the people who deserved to be on top were on top, and just for the record, I'm still not a fan of Bo, but I don't dislike him as much as this week's bottom 2.

Anthony definitely needs to go away next week.

POP TV - Scott's Friends aka Beautiful Women that would never talk to him in reality.

2005-05-04T09:11:00.000-03:00

This week's performances on AI might finally get Scott or Anthony out of the competition. Thankfully, Simon didn't allow too much room for pity votes, although he gave harsh critique to Vonzell, which may actually make her safe from being voted off.

At this point, the only one I still have an attachment to is Vonzell, so this season will be a lost cause to me if she is eliminated in this week's results show.

I noticed that Paula - who is in the middle of the contestant scandal - had a very simple, straight hairstyle. On top of that, she appeared less intoxicated. These are all probably done in the hopes of being low profile.

This week is probably Anthony's week to disappear.

PERS - And now a message from our sponsor.

2005-05-03T09:51:00.000-03:00

I've spoke about this in a post a couple months ago, but I'd just like to clear up one thing with all of ya:

If you are trying to invite me to be added to some sort of online contact list, whether it be sms.ac, bebo.com or any other bullshit excuse for more SPAM, I WILL NOT join it.

These websites are only out to create a massive list of emails, which - in case you are not aware - is making them a lot of money. They are selling these lists for thousands of dollars to sneaky advertisers who wish to rape your inbox with unsolicited messages. Every policy I've read on these websites leaves a lot of room for them to do this legally as you're agreeing to it.

So if I don't respond or agree to be added, don't take it personally. Just the fact that you've given them my email address only for the purposes of inviting me to join means that they probably already have my address. I have noticed an increase in SPAM since receiving these "invites".

If I want discounts on viagra or penis enlargement pills, I'll let you know. If I want a company in Nigeria to rid me of debt, I'll let you know. If I want help paying the mortgage on my house (which I don't have), I'LL LET YOU KNOW.

And if you want me to be added to your address book/spam list, don't hold your breath.

PERS - Hobnobbers AGAIN!

2005-05-02T21:02:00.000-03:00

Another Hobnobbers strip is out!

Now jump Jump JUMP!

Comment about it right here if ya like.

POP TV - I'm Miss Cleo Darlin'

2005-05-02T14:57:00.000-03:00

After making a half-assed joke about Paula being eliminated from American Idol, it seems as though this just might be the case.

In a recent article on Drudge Report, Paula's dealings with a certain contestant may have her in hot water now that there is audio evidence that may prove it happened.

The article is right here.

POP MISC - Bits and Bites

2005-05-02T09:43:00.000-03:00

Here are some newsbites that have been semi-interesting to me in the last while:

Bo knows Blow
Bollywood Honours Baywatch Wash-up
Constantine Gets Cut
Human-Animal Hybrids

On a big sidenote, Good Luck Chris on your educational adventures in Accounting! (He starts classes today.)

PERS - New Hobnobbers! WooHoo!

2005-05-01T13:42:00.000-03:00

A new Hobnobbers is out!

Before you jump, I strongly suggest viewing Episode 3 of the original animations that introduced the characters.

Ok, now JUMP!

Feel free to comment right here.

POP TV - Tammy Faye Makes Guest Apperance on American Idol

2005-04-28T09:39:00.000-03:00

Shock and surprise shook last night's American Idol as Paula Abdul was eliminated from the show. The reaction to her being voted off (as seen above) was absolutely heartwrenching.

OK, so it was Constantine who was actually taken out of the competition, leaving many people to wonder how they will get through the following weeks without a huge dose of Power-pouting.

I would have never thought that Bo would go further than Constantine, due to the fact that Constantine seemed to have a grip on the teeny-bopper crowd. What ended Constantine's run was the piece that ran prior to his performance: It painted him as part of a rich greek heritage from New York City that no average American Joe could relate to. Bo's straight-up ghetto lifestyle with his 50 cats and his house seemingly in the backwoods of "Alabamer" gave him the title of "most-deserving to win".

Thankfully, Vonzell is still in the game. I would say I like Carrie equally, but the truth is that I hate country music, and I can't possibly condone the release of an American Idol country album.

No sir, I just can't.

POP TV - Special Guest Star: Paula Abdul!

2005-04-27T09:40:00.000-03:00

It's hard to justify last night's American Idol with a blog entry.

It was awful.

Everyone's performance was poor, unless you equate "greatness" to the amount of tunics you wear. In that case, Bo is your next American Idol. Last night's tunic was brighter, noisier, and more obnoxious than ever, much like Bo's performance.

Highlight of the night: Paula getting booed by the audience after trying to candy-coat ANOTHER criticism.

Shameful moment: Heather Locklear telling her daughter to say she likes Anthony the best. Get a grip, Heather, NO ONE likes Anthony the best. Now that Mrs. Richie Sambora has made an appearance, she has demanded to be in the credits as "Special Guest Star" even though she will be in every episode for the next 5 seasons.

Supposed to be a big thing, but fizzled in the end: Clay Aiken's cameo. The audience was not excited at all, although a group of crickets gladly chirped in his presence.

Worst Performance: Scott
Best Performance (Supposedly): Ricky, the only guy in the backup band to get thanked.

Scott should go home tonight. After Simon told him to pack his bags, Scott had that look in his eyes like he wanted to throw a Cingular wireless telephone at him. Unfortunately, Simon's big (and yet very factual) mouth might generate millions of pity votes for the "White Felt Teddy Bear".

Bah. That's all I can say. Bah.

PERS - Framed

2005-04-26T09:39:00.000-03:00

I'm starting to fall into a fairly comfortable groove with my new position, in the fact that I don't dread going to work in fear I will have to work in that department. I still get wildly stressed out over certain tasks, but thankfully the other people who work in the same department are friendly and helpful.

I was able to get one of my new pairs of glasses, and although the new pair is metal and more streamlined than my older pair, people aren't really noticing because they are still semi-rimless frames. This was what I was looking for in this pair anyway: an upgrade, not a makeover.

My other new pair, which has yet to arrive, will be thick, brown, plastic full-framed glasses, and the difference will be very obvious.

Hopefully I should get them either today or tomorrow.

Thus ends a rather uneventful post.

PERS - Yay! A New Hobnobbers!

2005-04-24T02:33:00.000-03:00

All ya gotta to is jump over to my other blog to see it!

Feel free to comment about it here.

POP TV - C:\ANWAR OUT_

2005-04-22T09:43:00.000-03:00

My usual Thursday morning post was delayed due to an out-of-routine situation involving a shift move.

In one of the harshest eliminations, Anwar was given the boot Wednesday night. I'm sure it's because he was outed recently online from the unearthing of a personal ad he posted. Truths such as this do not sit well with the 9-14 year old demographic, which Anthony has a strong hold, and also doesn't jive well with the obese Christian right that still has Scott in the competition.

Thankfully, Nadia has already taken the black woman bullet for Vonzell, so she still has a good chance. Let's not forget Latoya from Season 3, Tamyra from Season 1, and Toya Alexis from Canadian Idol's season 1; all fantastic singers who were eliminated prematurely from the competition.

Bo, a true class act (in comparison to Rob & Amber on the Amazing Race), still remains in the competition.

Scott and him will probably be on their way out in the next 2 weeks.

POP TV - BAM!

2005-04-20T09:40:00.000-03:00

If you watch American Idol, you might be noticing a trend.

Aside from Paula's stoned antics becoming a staple of the show, Simon is no longer being considered as having a valid opinion. While Paula always sides with the audience and the contestants and Randy has hits and misses, Simon's comments are simply dismissed when they are even mildly negative.

Never have I seen such dismissive faces on contestants until this season. Anthony misses several notes, Randy, Paula and the audience feed him bullshit praise, Simon tells the truth, Anthony gives the biggest "WHATEVER" look, Ryan makes a snide comment about Simon's hair/clothes/homosexual aura, commercial break. Wash, rinse, repeat.

I think I'm growing tired of the Idol formula and the chemistry between the judges.

I'll publish the secret ingredients for each episode:

American Idol Casserole

X Amount of Desperate performers
3 Useless judges
1 Tight-fitting black/gray shirt
1 Shirt with obnoxious print
1 Coca-cola "Real" Moment
3 Highly-visible logo-intensive water-filled Coca-cola glasses
3 Doses of any mind-altering drug
1 Quick camera shot of a C-list celebrity
1 Stomach-stapling candidate/Idol hopeful
1 Can of Pre-approved Seacrest Brand Insults (tm)
100 Poorly-constructed Idol signage

...as far as the performances last night, Vonzell had the best performance of them all, with Carrie coming in a close second.

And Scott? Hey, Scott, do you hear me? Yeah, me over here. Hey. How are ya?

GET THE FUCK OFF THE SHOW. AND TAKE BO WITH YOU.

*Phew* Had to get that off my chest.

PERS - The (Possibly) Neverending Story

2005-04-19T09:38:00.000-03:00

I want to update today, but so far I cannot think of anything to write about.

So instead, I'm going to write the first 2 lines of a story, and I want you to continue from the last person's line! Write one line at a time, and you can write as many times as you wish as long as it's after someone else's line!

There once was a cat...

and it walked into the forest...

PERS - New Hobnobbers

2005-04-18T21:40:00.000-03:00

This week's Hobnobbers strip is out, so check it out!

PERS - Catch up!

2005-04-18T09:36:00.000-03:00

As you can tell, I went on a bloggie break for the weekend. After the last two intensive training days at work, I didn't feel like doing much else.

Saturday and Sunday slipped by too quickly, probably due to my late Friday shift.

The days are getting warmer and longer and I'm certainly happy about that. On Saturday, Chris and I walked for about 45 minutes to Vogue Optical where I ordered some frames. They both will be quite the departure from my current semi-rimless frames, and I should get them by Wednesday or Thursday.

My roommates have decided to move on with their lives and move elsewhere in the province/country. This morning it felt like it would be the last time (or the second last time) I would see them. They will be back to check in and pay rent and bills until their lease is up at the end of June.

I had a really hard time waking up this morning because my body was on the "stay up til 2, wake up at 10" schedule as per my 2 late shifts and staying up late on the weekend.

Now I must go on the phones for the first time since last Wednesday morning. Yeehaw.

PERS - Training Day Pt. 1

2005-04-15T11:11:00.000-03:00

Training for my new position started yesterday.

I don't know why, but the first day of any sort of training causes me to have this incurable headache. I believe it's a combination of stress, learning new things, and anxiety. Usually by the next day I can handle the rest without getting a migraine.

The job's work will be very intensive at most times, requiring a ton of multi-tasking as well as tending to employees. It is a huge leap over my original job of answering the phones and going on auto-pilot for 8 hours.

The great thing about it all is that doing it made me feel more human, and less like a computer. People now know me by name as well as face. I also had people last night who would just come up to my desk and start having a conversation about some random thing going on in their life. It was really strange. The department is set up in a way that makes it very approachable.

My position in this department is not full-time. It is only when someone is sick, on vacation, or they are incredibly busy. Therefore I am not completely free from the phone, which is not a totally bad thing. It will be good to go on auto-pilot once and a while.

I do more training today, and will learn more and more things. I'm pretty confident I'll get used to it all, but there's a small portion of doubt that tells me I won't enjoy this.

Time will tell.

POP TV - Joker's Wild...and eliminated.

2005-04-14T13:07:00.000-03:00

The shameless hour AI results show last night gave me a little more comfort knowing that Scott looks to be on his way out, having been in the Bottom 3 two weeks in a row. It was disappointing to see Nadia go, but I knew she didn't have much fuel left in the first place.

And now for some poetry.

Oh, Bo
You know you have to go
Fantasia already does her BoBo
and your mic stand routine blows.

All of us know
We need less Bo
Row row row your boat,
quickly off the show.

POP TV - Let's hear it for the Girls.

2005-04-13T09:40:00.000-03:00

When I heard Carrie was going to sing "Love is a Battlefield" I got excited.

What I wasn't expecting was her ability to tap into the power of Satan himself to belch through her performance. It's a shame she spent too much of her time conjuring evil spirits, and not enough energy on her choreography. She couldn't have looked more "karaoke stiff". You know who I'm talking about: That 40-year old cougar you see on Karaoke Night, swaying back and forth, singing the atonal version of her favourite Reba song. On the positive side, Carrie still managed to pull it off, regardless of the pitchiness.

Constantine finally proved last night he can rock out... Oh right, that's all he's been doing throughout the entire season. "Bohemian Rhapsody" is a favourite of mine, and let's just say Constantine is still not on my shitlist.

Vonzell made me smile with her energy, Anthony floated through another sleeper, Nadia made a poor song choice, Anwar hit his signature alien-pitch notes, Bo shocked the audience by taking his mic stand everywhere, and Scott pleased his fans with his rendition of Prodigy's "Smack My Bitch Up". It was magical.

Who will go home this week? I will have to take a page from the book of Abdul and not actually answer that question, then down 10 tequila shots before the show.

I want Scott or Anthony to leave. Better yet, they can both leave this week, and the producers can return Nikko to the competition.

PERS - Project Tomato Revealed!

2005-04-12T18:03:00.000-03:00

After I realized that few of you have ever seen my cartoon series "The Hobnobbers", I decided to bring them back in a big way.

Here are all the episodes so I can introduce you to the characters:

Episode 1: Hortense's Happy Day
Episode 2: MOTHER's Big Decision
Episode 3: Hector's Big Return

How have I decided to bring them back? By making a comic strip about them!

I've made a brand new blog specifically for it!

So go and check out THE HOBNOBBERS!