POP MISC - The NAME WARS!

I was alerted today by the WOW Report of a "Social Security Index" on the PBS website. It basically allows you to search the 55000 most common last names and tells you where they rank in popularity.

This had me thinking; How can I have fun with this new found tool?

Then it came to me...I'll have A CELEBRITY NAME WWWAAAARRRR!

...Ahem...so here it is.

HILTON vs. RICHIE

Hilton (#1066) beats Richie (#4616) by a landslide, although if Nicole had the more common spelling of Ritchie (#1121) she would stand a fighting chance against the Hiltons. Not even a wild, uneven-eyed Doherty (#1194) can win against a Hilton.

AGUILERA vs. SPEARS

Spears (#692) kicks rival Aguilera's (#2525) ass in this battle, proving that having the better voice is no match for being unapologetically fug.

TIMBERLAKE vs. FEDERLINE

Is it any surprise to you that Timberlake (#6030) won over Federline (#44551) by a huge margin? Timberlake swiftly brings sexyback, while Federline takes the sexyaway.

LOHAN vs. DUFF

The Duffs (#1955) don't need to win by the skin of their cosmetically-altered horse teeth, as they easily pummel the fully-loaded Lohans, who don't even make the top 55000! Ouch!


....


I quickly became bored of searching for surnames of famously feuding celebrities, but I still wanted to tap this great resource for more information.

So I decided to have RANDOM NAME WAAAARRRRS!!

We like our Fries (#4559) but we'd rather have the Burger (#1526), but if we had to choose between condiments, we'd take Mayo (#926) over Mustard (#19269).

We'd much rather have Hair (#4575) than be Bald (#35752).

We'll take a Judge (#2755) over a Jury (#15335).

In a rainbow, Green (#35) is the clear colour of choice, followed by Blue (#1289), Orange (#6306), Red (#17505), Violet (#27392), while Indigo and Yellow fail to rank.



On the topic of colours, it's about to get pretty blue in here. If you're green, don't say I didn't warn you when you're face turns red.

We love our Hoars (#12293) almost as much as we love our Virgins (#11526), but we're not a fan of Prudes (#18360).

Dicks (#5956) are no match for Cox (#68), but we would take a Dick (#1105) over a Glasscock (#7008) anyday.

The real winner, however, is Bush (#311), so it's no surprise that we'll choose a Ho (#1308) over a Mo (#17451).