POP TV - Ups and Down down downs.

How in Hell did Google index this as a picture of Melissa O'neil?

Holy delayed reaction, Batman!

I know, it's been much too long.

Melissa O'Neil has been our newest Canadian Idol for a week now and (SHOCK) she's female!

The last week of Canadian Idol went without much incident, except for Zack - looking sexy as ever - in his cheaply made Elvis suit. *BARF*

Needless to say, I'm really happy how this season turned out. Finally the one I wanted to win actually won.

I can't say the same for Big Brother 6, which is coming to a disappointing close tonight with Maggie and Ivette as the final two, edging out Janelle after and HOH competition involving TWO tiebreakers! I had a couple panic attacks, passed out, woke up, slipped into a coma, flatlined, and was reanimated through the latest medical technology only to find out that Janelle was evicted.

Ivette, I actually started to like you, but now I realize you're just a dumb bitch like the rest of your "Friendship".

The only thing I can be assured of tonight is that a useless waste of space will win $500,000 tonight.

FINAL CI3 SASSQWATCH UPDATE!!

How could I forget to mention Sass Jordan's performance on the final night of Canadian Idol? And how could she possibly think this would be a great thing to do?

She wailed and screamed her way through her performance as Canada judged every note she didn't hit.

My final thoughts on her performance? Hmmm...I don't know, Sass, there's just something I didn't like about your performance, I just don't know what that is. But for a top-heavy aging Z-list washed up cracked-out celebrity, you're pretty light in the loafers!

PERFORMANCE OF THE NIGHT GOES TO...

Debra Byrd, the vocal coach for the competitors, sang her ass off, showed up everyone, and got a well-deserved standing ovation. Her surprised reaction to the audience applause was priceless. Debra, time to release and album; people will buy it.

If you remember anything that happened last week (Sorry for the delayed post), what did you think of the final week?

POP TV - Free Walpole.

Aaron Absolutely Annihilated!

Another week of Canadian Idol has come and gone, and we are left with Rex Goudie and Melissa O'Neil.

I am definitely happy that Melissa has made it to the finals, as I've been rooting for her for weeks now. Thanks to a bunch of ritalin-deficient teen girls, Rex also made it even though both of his performances were HORRIBLE.

I don't hate Barenaked Ladies, even though you'll never find one of their songs in my collection. What I do hate is people covering Barenaked Ladies songs. So you can assume that I did not enjoy any of the performances. The only thing that mattered to me is that they were hitting the notes, singing on key, and not being pitchy. Rex did none of this.

Melissa did what she had to do, and nailed it. What I like about her is that she has this Kelis like presence about her. She's always got a smirk on her face, her voice is mildly squeaky, and her milkshake - contrary to popular opinion - DOES bring all the boys to the yard.

Aaron - the loser this week - did his best Olivia Newton-John impression and got physical during the second performance. He also tried his hardest to cry during his first song, because he thought it really worked for him for the last 3 weeks. He also could not take his eyes off the camera, which makes me believe that the cameramen were eating pizza. Delissio pizza to be exact.

Oh yeah. That reminds me. What the hell was that pizza commercial all about?

Wait. I already know it was some sloppy in-show commercial that John Dore once again must participate in. What started out as a voyeuristic view of the Canadian Idol finalists having fun turned into a straight-up disgusting pizza porn. A myriad of shots involving pizza sitting on a plate and contestants devouring pizza assaulted my eyes.

Now that I've mentioned Kraft's pizza, I've basically given them free advertising.

So to balance things out:

Remember kids, It's Not Delivery. It's DISGUSTING!

My point is that in-show commercials make my stomach turn. I didn't like it when the American Idols did those Ford Focus spots, I didn't like it when John Dore became a whore to Canada Post, and I certainly can't agree with watching Aaron Walpole eat.

So here we are, left with Rex and Melissa. I really hope that Melissa wins this thing, not only because she's the only one left who can actually sing both in lower and higher registers, but because I'd really like to see a girl Canadian Idol. First season it was a guy, second season it was a guy-girl hybrid, so the next logical step is to have a female Idol.

On the positive side - as Chris so eloquently said himself as we viewed the show - we will at least have a winner who is more than 115 lbs.

What did you think about this week? Who do you want to win?

POP TV - Go West! In the open air. (video)

Kanye West, clearly very emotional, delivered a condemning off-script speech about how they are portraying black people in New Orleans during the Live NBC Fundraising special for Hurricane Katrina victims. He seemed ready to cry as he stumbled over his words.

"They've given [the army] permission to shoot us!"

Get the video here

I support anything that goes off-script, so I thought this was fantastic. It's a shame that a strong opinion isn't appreciated by NBC, or that they had to cut to a wildly bug-eyed shot of everyone's favourite squealing idiot, Chris Tucker.

Go West!